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Watch: “I Smile Politely”

April 16, 2016 By HKearl

Newly released this week, check out Ness Lyon’s spoken word piece “I Smile Politely,” performed by actress April Hughes. Director of Photography & Editor: Luke Bartlett.

Ness wrote about the back story for The Pool, here is an excerpt:

“I’d been harassed in the street personally as a young woman, and professionally I’d handled sexual harassment cases as an employment solicitor, but it wasn’t until I experienced street harassment in my role as a mother that I felt compelled to publicly speak out.

Last year, on a family holiday in Southeast Asia, the part of the world I grew up in and which I adore, a man in the street made a sexual remark to my 10-year-old daughter that left her feeling terrified. I asked her how she reacted to the man’s comment and she answered, ‘I just smiled politely and quickly walked away.’ I felt a surge of anger: how dare that man make my child feel she had to respond to being sexualised with a polite smile. I told her that if someone made her feel uncomfortable, she shouldn’t feel she had to smile. But then I hesitated, remembering the times in my teens and twenties when I’d been subjected to humiliating, provocative and threatening comments by strangers. Sure, sometimes I’d sworn or glared in response. And on one memorable occasion, merely responded with a look of pure disbelief when a man shouted at me to “smile love for God’s sake, it might never happen’…. when I was in a hospital. ON CRUTCHES.  But a lot of the time, I too had simply smiled politely, not wanting to offend….

I wanted to explore this issue the best way I knew how: by writing about it. I started by having lots of conversations with a diverse group of women, hearing about the various ways they all ‘smile politely’.

I wrote a spoken word piece about it, performed by actress April Hughes (at WOW Festival and in a video to mark Anti-Street Harassment Week)….

My daughter’s phrase of ‘I smiled politely’ was a refrain echoed by nearly every woman I spoke to about street harassment. I want us to change that conversation: why, when we talk about politeness in these situations, is the word usually in relation to the woman in the scenario, and not the man? Instead of expecting us to simply smile, men need to learn to ‘speak politely’.

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Filed Under: anti-street harassment week, Resources, Stories, street harassment Tagged With: spoken word, UK, young age

Because I wore a skirt that day

April 15, 2016 By Contributor

Image gy
Image by Jill Santos

I still get a nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach at gas stations when I’m alone. I would pull over constantly months after the occurrence while driving, in fear I was being followed again. I stopped wearing dresses and skirts for a while, my favorite things to wear. I was blamed for what had happened to me…

A man watched me at a gas station. I paid no attention, pumped gas in my car, and left as quickly as possible. I thought I was being my usual worry-wart self when I sensed he was following me. Through stoplights, unexpected turns, and neighborhood streets all the way to my then college campus I could see that man in his car in my mirror still lingering behind. After calling 911 and luckily having a faculty member help me, he sped away. Once when recounting this experience, it was suggested to me that this occurred because I was wearing a skirt that day and that is why he followed me after spotting me at the gas station.

So when I am out running in jogging pants and a sweater, I am getting whistled at because of what I am wearing? When I am in the grocery store parking lot in winter clothes and a scarf and getting inappropriate comments yelled my way, it is because of what I am wearing? When friends and I are hollered at when walking in the dark, it is because of what we are wearing?

He harassed me that day because of a skirt?

Street harassment is a learned behavior. How can it be addressed when we are focusing on the victim instead of the harasser?

Street harassment continues its prevalence towards anyone, wearing anything, anywhere. I cannot count the number of times I have been catcalled in my 21 years and it is disgusting at how frequent this occurs to myself and those around me. Hearing “smile, beautiful” or a whistle or “it was a compliment” just makes me cringe. Street harassment has become a social norm among cultures where this behavior is considered tolerable. Victims are the ones left to alter their actions and behaviors expecting these interactions to occur.

Although I think back often to that experience any time I feel anxiety creeping up or may feel even the slightest hesitation leaving the house in a skirt, I know now that I was the victim. I know I am not alone in the world with people experiencing street harassment daily. It may be difficult to think about your experience, let alone write it for others to read- but someone who reads it could relate it to their own experience and think “there’s nothing I could have done to prevent it from happening, it wasn’t my fault, and it wasn’t because of the way I was dressed.” At least I try to remind myself that and sharing your story could remind others too.

Jill Santos is a 21-year-old college senior, a califoregon girl. Follow her on Instagram @jiillionaire

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Filed Under: anti-street harassment week, Stories, street harassment

“Mostly I felt objectified”

April 13, 2016 By Contributor

I was walking through a shopping center parking lot. I wanted to cross to the sidewalk, and a car slowed to let me pass. An elderly man with a guitar case shouted to me, “Come on girl, come on girl!” as if to hurry me along, and he sounded and looked amused. It felt very demeaning, as if he was talking to a dog. I hurried past and kept walking fast, and I crossed another street and took a route through a housing development because I noticed he seemed to be going in the same direction as me. I was not necessarily afraid of being molested, but it did make me nervous. Mostly I felt objectified, and that made me resentful.

By the way, I was wearing ripped-up but not revealing jeans, a loose black T-shirt, my hair was very plain and I had no makeup on.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I don’t have a good solution; but I think the older generation should be taught somehow that talking to random women disrespectfully is not okay. Maybe it was in their younger days, but times have changed.

– Anonymous

Location: Ventura, CA

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea
.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment

“We have to engage everyone in the conversation.”

April 13, 2016 By Contributor

I was walking with my girlfriend down Connecticut Ave in DC and we were holding hands. Three times within one block, we walked by men who were well into their 50s (we are in our 20s), and every one of them made a comment and stared at her, looked at her up and down. They said things to me like, “Wow aren’t you a lucky guy!” or just simply saying “wow” or whistles as we walked by.

This made me mad. Not because other men were taking glances at my girlfriend. It made me mad that she had to go through that. I was sad and frustrated with a world that says that’s okay. I wish she didn’t have to feel objectified and reduced to just an object that “I was lucky to own.” I wish she could have just walked down a main street and just be herself, without worrying about men staring at her body.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Awareness is key. A lot of men don’t think that street harassment is an issue. They don’t see it happen so they don’t think it’s real. We have to engage everyone in the conversation.

– Anonymous

Location: Washington, DC

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea
.

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Filed Under: male perspective, Stories, street harassment

Chariots for Hire, No Groping Buttons and Other Ways to Make Transit Safer

April 13, 2016 By HKearl

The ride-sharing service Chariots for Women will be launching nationwide on April 19 as an alternative to Uber and Lyft. In this model, all drivers and customers will be women to “ensure safety, comfort, and pleasure.”

Since stories about sexual violence of women at the hands of male Uber and Lyft drivers and taxi drivers are not uncommon, it’s understandable that there is a market for such a service. Indeed, I’ve supported a similar but free service called RightRides in both New York City and Washington, D.C. On select nights, women and LGBQTI-identified people can receive a safe, affordable late-night-ride home.

In San Francisco, a similar service called Homobiles offers rides that are free, with a donation suggested, to members of the LGBTIQQ community, who similarly may feel unsafe or discriminated against by drivers or be unable to pay for expensive taxi fares.

I understand why these services exist and many countries offer some form of women-only public transportation. But I do not believe that these kinds of women-only or LGBTIQQ-only services should be the ultimate goal. They are problematic for many reasons. Namely, they do not address the root causes of harassment and sexual assault, and they place the onus on these communities to keep themselves safe.

But there are no quick-fixes and easy answers for making public transportation (or any public spaces) safer, and I applaud those who are at least trying. And lately, there have been many groups that are trying. These are four examples, just from the past few weeks:

 

JAPAN:

In Japan, men groping women and girls on public transportation is a problem, but it’s challenging for them, especially girls, to speak out in the moment when it happens.

A female high school student in Tokyo who was regularly groped by men on her ride home from school (and reported it, but that did not stop it) and her mother designed a button that said “Groping is a crime” and “I won’t let the matter drop” which she attached to her school bag. The buttons seem to be a deterrent, and no man has groped her since she put them on her bag.

Her success inspired others. Recently, thanks to a fundraising campaign (“Stop Chikan Badge Project”), the Chikan Yokushi Katsudo Center expanded on her idea and mass produced buttons. The designs on the buttons were also selected through crowdsourcing – there were 441 submissions and five designs selected. Recently, volunteers from the organization distributed 500 of the buttons at the JR Shibuya Station, with plans to distribute them at other stations. Not only did girls and young women take badges, but adults took them too to distribute to their daughters.

Japan Times March 2016 groping

MEXICO:

In early April, twenty women wearing dark clothing across their body and faces held a flash mob protest against sexual harassment on the transit system in Mexico City. They were organized by the group Information Group on Reproductive Choice after one of the women’s colleagues was attacked. A 2014 study found that more than 60 percent of women in Mexico City and faced sexual abuse while riding public transit.

The women demonstrated at various stations and on the subway itself. Both metro authority staff and passengers were respectful and many women passengers stopped to thank them for raising awareness through their demonstration.

metro_mujeres11 - march 2015 mexico city campaign

UK:

Transport London conducted a survey in 2013 of their riders and found that around one in seven women had experienced unwanted sexual behavior on public transit. In response, they launched Project Guardian in conjunction with the British Transport, Metropolitan and City of London police forces and local advocacy groups, to raise awareness and train employees. But even still, few people reported harassment when they experienced it.

One year ago, they released the Report It to Stop It campaign. The video captures the way harassment can escalate and a voice asks at various points, “Would you report it?”

This month, one year later, Siwan Hayward, TfL’s deputy director of enforcement and on-street operations said there’s “not enough data yet to say it’s a trend” but “we are beginning to see what we hope is actually the prevalence of sexual offences falling.”

Notably, the video has been viewed nearly five million times and 36 percent more people are coming forward to report harassment, resulting in a 40 percent increase in arrests. As Ellie Violet Bramley wrote for the Guardian, “the real win is the cultural shift this signals – women won’t accept this behaviour as routine any more, and neither will the authorities.”

USA:

Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority (WMATA) has been working in collaboration with Collective Action for Safe Spaces and Stop Street Harassment on an anti-harassment campaign that has included station-wide awareness posters, an online reporting form, the training of employees, and outreach days at Metro stations. All of these efforts set the tone that sexual harassment is unacceptable and is taken seriously.

Over International Anti-Street Harassment Week, the three organizations released the results of the first-ever survey on the system. This is the biggest study of its kind for any transit system in the United States.

In the 1,000 person-regionally representative survey conducted in January 2016 by Shugoll Research, 21 percent of riders had experienced some form of sexual harassment, with verbal harassment being the most common form. Women were three times more likely than men to experience sexual harassment.

In positive news, 41 percent of the riders were familiar with the latest anti-harassment campaign and those who were familiar with it were twice as likely to report their experiences of harassment. Based on the findings, WMATA, CASS and SSH are currently working on a new awareness campaign that will be released in a few weeks.

11.28.15 WMATA Ad! Falls Church, VA 4

 

Find ideas for how YOU can help make public spaces safer.

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Filed Under: LGBTQ, News stories, public harassment, street harassment Tagged With: groping, japan, mexico, taxi, UK, usa, women-only

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