Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“It points to something bigger than itself”

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I was walking in a parking lot from one store to another, alone at like 9 p.m., and a car full of guys in their late teens/early 20s pulls up. A guy in the back rolls down his window, shouts, “Hey there, Cuteass,” laughs, and then the car pulls away. I felt pretty powerless and objectified, like yeah, nothing actually happened to me, but if they had decided to, what would have been able to stop a group of strong guys from hurting me or acting on those kind of comments?

I also felt guilty, racking my brain for what I could have done differently, angry for the thousands of women who are actually oppressed daily. My instance was little, but it points to something bigger than itself.

– Grace

Location: Wheaton, Illinois

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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USA: Street Harassment as Body Shaming

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Sara Conklin, Washington, DC, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

“Blondie” — Photo from Haley Morris-Cafiero’s The Watcher series

This weekend I was feeling particularly enraged about a viral video called Dear Fat People by YouTube comic, Nicole Arbour. In this video of self-proclaimed satire, “fat shaming” is heralded as something of a favor to people; if you can shame people enough, they might just lose weight.

I don’t know what universe Nicole Arbour lives in where shaming any person in any matter is considered a service to society, but I am proud to say I don’t live in the same one.

Unfortunately, the internet isn’t the only place where body image harassment exists. My first blog post was about an incident of street harassment I experienced where the line between objectification and sexism was blurred with a spewed statement of body hate.

This is a scenario that happens all too often – sexualized hecklings with specific references to one’s appearance and particularly, a woman’s curves.

I should be clear that it is neither my goal nor do I have enough time to discuss the myriad of ways in which people of all sizes and genders experience harassment in public spaces. But what I can begin to consider are the ways in which women of a certain body type experience public harassment differently, and I can do so by reflecting on my own experiences.

As Nicole Arbour so unabashedly points out in her gruesome video, plus-size women (or as I will start referring to as women) can be treated like public property, as if our bodies incentivize more of an invitation than others. A harassment perpetrator might feel like it is their privilege to point out a descriptive observation that they just don’t like, i.e. “move that fat ass along.” Melissa A. Fabello the Managing Editor of Everyday Feminism, points out that, “So long as people believe that ‘concern trolling’—harassing and threatening people under the guise of being concerned for their health;—is acceptable, attitudes like this one will not only exist, but also thrive.” Perhaps even to the extent of a “well-intentioned” blonde on YouTube projecting hate to hundreds of thousands of viewers.

In the words of another YouTube comic, Meghan Tonjes, that video was “lazy comedy wrapped in health concern trolling tied in a f***ing privilege bow.”

The sad truth: the street harassment I have experienced is most often directly related to the size of some part of my body or the way an outfit fits on it. So, what is the difference between being harassed by a comedian’s video online and being told to move my fat ass on the street? Not a lot. Both perpetuate and let flourish the notion that “calling out” people who don’t fit a certain qualifying personal descriptor makes them less than and makes them a target for words used to demean people. If you don’t believe that’s even possible, check out the brilliant photographer Haley Morris-Cafiero who captured reactions to her body in public.

We need to shake up the idea that all harassment is the same stereotype: a come-on from the guy in the hard hat to the girl in the short skirt. Truthfully, harassment in public spaces comes in more varieties than we have words to describe it. But, what is lacking in variety are the tools to combat harassment that is guised as body shaming.

I’m always reading articles about women who have witty and poignant comebacks to street harassers. I’d like to think of myself as one of those women. On most days I have an allegorical potluck of shutdowns in my head. But why, when I am directly insulted about the size of my body, do I fall silent? I feel powerless. Perhaps more of our empowering messages to women don’t always require literal references to situational street harassment. It might start at a place deeper-rooted and intrinsically engrained — It might start with body acceptance. It’s worth thinking that if I loved my whole self a little more and was aided in this self-actualization by the world around me, the allegorical potluck could be reeling with comebacks of body positive statements instead of contrived defense mechanisms.

Truthfully, my body does not occupy nearly enough space to be of such a mental occupation to you. Yet, every time you make a comment in regards to it, there is a power dynamic shift. I won’t stand by and let anyone feel powerless because of the way someone sees them. I’m worth more than your lazy and privileged comments in any public space, online or otherwise.

Sara works in fundraising events at an organization that empowers women who face homelessness through recovery, wellness training, and housing. She runs her own photography company (saraconklinphotography.com) and a popular website that seeks to connect the world through pictures, sarapose.com.

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“It was a relief to be taken seriously”

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I take the public buses often. He sat directly in front of me and kept staring. For those 20 minutes he did not say a word, but he kept raising his eyebrow at me suggestively. He fidgeted with his legs and touched his foot to my knee. And stared. And smiled. A few stops later, I got off and headed straight for transit security. I noticed he got off the bus as well. I told security and they had me file a report for the guy with the police. It might not be enough, but if he is a repeat offender, they will be able to take action.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

Have police trained to deal with this. Be able to report it and have police take action, even if only repeat offenders. It was a relief to be taken seriously and to have my story documented for records should that man be a repeat offender.

– KT

Location: Seattle WA, King County Metro

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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“This is not the way you meet women!”

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I was walking home from a party one night in a friend’s apartment, a little intoxicated and worried about getting home, which was about an hour’s walk. It was early enough in the night, and town was packed, but even still, a man decided it was appropriate to approach me. He walked behind me for a few minutes, making sure I knew he was there, then tried to engage me in conversation.
“Hello”
I ignored him and didn’t break stride.
“Oh, you are so beautiful!”
I continued to ignore him, continued walking at the same high speed.
“This is not the first time I have seen you tonight”
Creepy, but I kept going.
“Everyone is looking at you!”
This was just not what I needed right now, so I stopped, looked him directly in the eye with a dragon stare and just went “Oh… THANKS.”
Then, without waiting for a response, turned on my heel and continued walking without looking back. He didn’t follow.

Another time I was walking home, a bit later, on a deserted street. A man started the same shite with me, insinuating himself on the edge of my walk, then walking up and saying hello. This time I was just not having it. I was sober, I was pissed off at the sheer amount of times this happens to me, so I decided to let loose and give him a piece of my mind.

“This is not the way you meet women!” I snapped at him, he looked confused, like this had never happened and he asked me what I meant. “You don’t just walk up to people on the street and start talking to them!”
“Oh I’m just walking!”
I don’t remember this word for word but I kept giving him loads, and then he said he was just going to keep walking, and I said, “GRAND!” and stopped, so with his momentum he kept going a couple of paces, and I crossed to the other side of the street. He kept shouting over that I was a bitch, kept at it, calling me a f***ing bitch until I just shouted back, “”I DON’T GIVE A F*** WHAT YOU THINK!””

That shut him up.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

All I can say is teach women the right attitude, everything I’ve read of success stories from this site is all people who either ridiculed their street abusers, or physically fought back and got them arrested. I always walk around Dublin alone with a fast stride, my arms crossed, radiating a confident attitude, and I take exercise and self-defense classes. While this clearly doesn’t always stop people from approaching me, they soon learn that I’m not going to be a victim, and they f*** off. These people are tiny-minded little bullies who want an easy target, not someone who’s likely to kick their ass or make them feel like the rude people they are.

– SK

Location: Dublin, Ireland (George’s street and then up near Rathmines, respectively)

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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