Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“I guess this is what it’s like to be a woman in this society”

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I was catcalled for the first time today. I’m 13 years old. I always thought catcalling was something that happened to other, older women, something very uncommon. But today I was proved wrong. I was walking to the checkout at the grocery store, at around 9 PM. There’s this one pair of guys, one in his 50s, one probably 25 or so. They’re walking towards me and my mom too, towards the checkout. At first I didn’t think anything of it, they were just making their way towards the checkout. But then the 50-year-old guy goes, ʺHey baby!ʺ (at this point, I really didn’t register what he said and I was sure he wasn’t talking to me.)

So the guy makes this sound like, ʺUh?ʺ like trying to get my attention or something. And that’s when I realized what was going on. Now, remember, this guy is 50 FREAKING YEARS OLD. I AM 13. I am not mature for my age by any means. My butt is flat, my boobs are almost non-existent, and it’s pretty easy to tell how young I am. And my mom is standing only a few inches away from me. But the guy keeps going. ʺC’mon, baby, talk to me!ʺ My heart started racing and I wanted to cry. I was so scared. I just ignored the asshole. But before the situation could escalate, this creeper’s 25-ish-year-old son saved the day. He said something along the lines of, ʺC’mon, Dad, let’s go.ʺ You could tell he was really uncomfortable with the situation. And I guess they left after that.

I know that way worse catcalling situations occur all the time, but this was the first time it happened to me, and I have never felt worse. Especially when I thought about the fact that this guy was in his 50s, and he was attracted to me, a 13-year-old girl. It’s disgusting, when you think about it.

My mom is half-deaf and can’t hear well in loud situations (such as this grocery store) so she had no idea this went on until I told her about it in the car. She said, ʺI’m sorry that happened. But this is just something you’re gonna have to deal with,ʺ and tried to cheer me up.

So I guess this is what it’s like to be a woman in this society. God, it sucks.

– Anonymous

Location: A QFC in Bothell, Washington, USA

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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Harassed by 10-year-old boys

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I went in to pick up my sister from summer camp. A lot of people were around. While walking out back out a young boy and his friends (they looked as if they were around 10-12 yrs old) said, ʺBring that ass here.ʺ I was so mortified all I could do was turn back angrily to say, ʺExcuse me what did you just say!ʺ

They all responded with laughter. Although I look like I walked out angrily, I really left feeling defeated, angry, powerless and violated because what was I to do in a situation like that? I felt that I could have stood up more for myself but the shock of it all especially when this came from a a boy who was only around 10yrs and I was 18.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

I seriously think more people need to push for an anti-catcalling law.

– Anonymous

Location: A summer camp

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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Early Aug 2015 News Roundup

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Here are a few news stories and initiatives from the week.

Women runners, here’s a survey on street harassment!

“Brooklyn High-Schoolers Sexually Harassed While Painting Mural About Sexual Harassment”

Brooklyn mural by high school students. Via Patch.com
Brooklyn mural by high school students. Via Patch.com

“Along the bottom of the mural is the phrase, “Street harassment is about power and control.”

Although some men passing by on Myrtle just yell and whistle from afar, some come up to talk to the artists.

”Guys will walk by and say, ’You ladies shouldn’t be doing this, it’s too much for you, it’s too heavy, you need help,’” says Ponce.

Sometimes this leads to a conversation about street harassment. “People aren’t aware that it’s a problem,” says Ponce. ”They say, ’It’s a compliment, just take it.’”

Although Ponce doesn’t believe the mural has changed anyone’s habits just yet, she says some of the same guys who used to harass them are more respectful now as they walk by.

“It feels like you’re making an impact,” she says.

You can scope out the mural for yourself at 1102 Myrtle Avenue, along the wall of the Food Bazaar Supermarket. The girls expect to finish by August 24.”

“Why That Viral [Cosmo] Video of Men Reacting to Street Harassment Isn’t Praise-Worthy”

“While it’s no doubt that the producers’ intentions weren’t malicious – they wanted to highlight how pervasive (and f**ked up) the everyday whistles, taunting and stalking women encounter is – was having heterosexual dudes validate our day-to-day experiences really the best way to combat this gendered violence? In other words, should we be criticizing sexism by perpetuating it in another form?

The sexual intimidation straight women meet each time they step out of their homes should not have to be substantiated by their male companions. Her voice, alone, should be enough for her partner, and the rest of society, to take her experiences and frustrations as valid.

We’re ready for a street harassment video without paternalism, where women – including bisexual, lesbian, queer and trans women, because this is far from just a straight women’s issue – don’t need men to ensure that our daily harassment is believed.

Also, it would be great to have a video that didn’t overwhelmingly depict men of color as the perpetrators, because, news flash: white dudes aren’t santos and do hiss, jeer, harass, touch and stalk women as well.”

“LISTEN gets Vic government on board in push against sexual harassment and assault in music venues and festivals”

“The LISTEN collective [in Australia], a group of musos and industry professionals who are also passionate advocates for gender equity in Oz music, are taking active steps to deal with the situation. Importantly, they’ve just persuaded the Honourable Jane Garrett, Minister for Justice, to convene a task force to implement policy addressing sexual harassment and sexual assault at music venues and festivals.”

“How to Deal With Street Harassment When Traveling”

“On the flip side, it’s important to learn how to shut down unwanted attention not just with body language but verbally as well. Oftentimes in Western cultures, women are taught to be polite even when we feel uncomfortable in a situation. If someone is pestering you for attention, for your phone number or for anything else, it’s perfectly alright to shut them down with a simple no and to walk away if they won’t take no for an answer. Don’t feel obligated to continue a conversation with anyone who makes you uncomfortable. It’s not rude—it’s perfectly appropriate.”

“Could catcalling become illegal in Austin, Texas, and elsewhere?”

“Men are the primary perpetrators of street harassment against both women and men (and it is largely men in the LGBTQ [lesbian, gay, bisexual,transgender, and queer] community who are harassed compared with their heterosexual male peers),” she adds. “We need programs educating young men on issues of respect and consent, we need social shaming of harassers, and we need men to model respectful behavior to their friends and family members.”

“Public Property”

“There is a clear difference between striking up a polite conversation with somebody whilst both inhabiting a public space and utilising that public space as a tool to enable inappropriate commentary.”

“10 ultra-regressive scenes from Bollywood movies that encourage you to be a creep

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“I saw him following me I was so scared”

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Yesterday I was walking along a street and then this boy started staring at me and he smiled also!! I turned my head after a few minutes I saw him following me I was so scared. My father was a little bit far and I went to him and turned to see if the boy was staring at me and he was!! Then I was like this is life and turned my head!!

But this has to end always the same problem with boys.

– Anonymous

Location: Lebanon

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See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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Five men surrounded me and tried to get me in their car

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My story starts with me walking downtown in Saskatoon from my car to the mall for my shift at work. In an ugly uniform, broad daylight, two o’clock in the afternoon. I had to cross a parking lot and an alley between a couple of businesses and a car with five young but big guys rolled into my path blocking my way. They were laughing and telling me how hot I was and telling me to come party with them. I politely declined and tried to laugh it off, saying I had to get to work. And they wouldn’t let me by and after some more banter they got out of the car. Five men. All much larger than me surrounded me and making the sexual comments and grazing me while joking amongst themselves of how much fun I would be.

I’m Caucasian, 5’9 but skinny, 130 pounds, and suffer from Lupus, so I wasn’t any match for any of them. And I started to get scared and more vocal in telling them no and to let me go. One of them grabbed me and tried to move me towards the car while I struggled and screamed every curse I could think of and they still just laughed. There were two customers that came out of the restaurant and saw what was happening, and an elderly homeless man who had been rightfully hesitant to get involved being so clearly outnumbered.

The guys let me go and got in their car and left after being confronted. The two men from the restaurant walked me to work where I sat down and sobbed over what had taken place. I was late and my boss was angry with me until I explained what had happened. And she uselessly offered to get her female employees rape whistles.

I began carrying a knife with me after that, knowing that it wouldn’t be much good against a large crowd. It would be wrestled away from me before I could do enough damage and more than likely end up on the receiving end but I swore I would never go down without a fight. Since that incident, I’ve become hostile and challenging instead of the joking way I tried to play it off to begin with and I’ve not had any serious problems since.

Street harassment is a real issue facing women but we have to take a stand for ourselves if we ever want it to stop. Don’t be a victim.

– Anonymous

Location: Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more idea

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