I was walking to work at a Smithsonian museum in Washington DC. I entered the museum and walked towards a ladies’ bathroom. One of the male guards there said, “You need to smile, baby,” and I turned to him and said directly, “Repeat that.” He did, but this time did it nervously (there were people around, most of them women). Then I said, “Do not do that.” and walked off into the bathroom. When I walked out, he was gone.

I felt good having to hold him accountable for the way he talked, and I could tell he felt embarrassed. But when I spoke about it with someone else, he told me that interaction with harassment is a mistake-“you enter their world, so to speak, and that makes you unsafe.” he said. I don’t know if he is right.

– Anonymous

Location: Smithsonian, Washington, D.C.

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Not “street” harassment specifically as this took place in a restaurant.

My mother and I decided to go grab an appetizer somewhere. We had a completely fabulous time and right when we were thinking of leaving an older gentleman invited us to sit with him and his co-workers at his table. I figured why not? My mom’s single and he appeared to be interested in her so we did.

We get to his table and are introduced to his friendly co-workers and hang out and chat for a little bit when he begins insulting my mom. I’m embarrassed that I was so shocked that I hardly even responded to him.

The first sign of trouble was when he turns to me and says something about my mom being 52 years old. I told him he was aiming a little high and then I asked, well how old are you? He was disinclined to respond so I joked that perhaps it was a rude question and he agreed that it was…? Oh well, I figure.

Somehow we go from this to him bluntly and loudly asking my mom, “So what are you, 52?” and then he states, “So you’re a cougar.” My mom and I looked at each other like, “WTF?” I did my best to play it off for the benefit of everyone at the table, but I really really wish I had just called him on being so rude and had left right then and there. At this point it was obvious his poor co-workers were like, why the eff are we hanging out with his guy? Oh and at one point he tried to say that she was a cougar even if she was potentially interested in HIM. Yeah! HIM! THE OLDER EFFING GUY. His explanation was that he’s ONLY 46…? So in this guy’s mind somehow the woman he assumes is 52 (she’s 49) is a cougar because she’s potentially interested in a 46 year old??

Eventually one of the co-workers just suddenly gets up to leave so we obviously do too and apparently this guy took the opportunity of us waiting for our coats to KISS my mother. What in the…? She was so shocked and confused she didn’t even tell me until later. I wish she had slapped him!

What a creep. I think now that I’ve experienced this I will be more willing to call out this kind of behavior. I regret having responded so politely, but at least I erred on the side of caution.

– Anonymous

Location: A fancy restaurant

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I am a victim of Community Harassment ” we call our selves, ” Targeted individuals. ”

Many women are on a community watch list and are being “flash Mob” at random, work placed bullied and stalked by numerous people. I was wondering how many people are aware that this is going on. I was unaware of this type of community harassment until I ran in to a web site that described it . I just attributed all the things that was happening to me and my family to bad luck . If anyone is not aware of this , please google “targeted individuals and get the word out. This is a crime against women and humanity.

– Anonymous

Location: Maryland

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I was at the grocery store today checking out, and chatting all the while with the clerk. I slid my card to pay, and it didn’t go through, so the clerk told me to “slide it again.” The man behind me in line–who I had barely noticed until then–interrupted my conversation with the clerk to say “ha slide it again–I bet you’ve heard that one before.” I was speechless and really couldn’t believe if I had heard right. I didn’t engage at all, and I think the clerk was just as surprised as I was. I walked away with a disgusted, slightly embarrassed, and ugh feeling, all the while knowing there was no reason I needed to feel that way.

Thanks for letting me air it out here. Let’s do whatever we can to stop this kind of junk from happening to others.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

City/community government sponsored panel/roundtable discussions. Outreach to elementary, middle, and high schools. Outreach to men’s groups in the community. Speak at local service organizations (like Rotary) and nonprofits about this issue.

– Anonymous

Location: Safeway

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