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“If only you were older”

November 19, 2013 By Contributor

I was walking back from college, only a block away by a grocery store, when a man stopped me by a bus stop. He kept asking if my eye color was real because “it’s so damn sexy” and saying that “If you were older I would be all up on you!”

This man was at least 30 years older than me (I am 18). I kept saying I had to go and meet my boyfriend who was at a restaurant by the store (I don’t actually have one but felt, as he wouldn’t let me leave when I said I was busy, he would let me go if he knew a guy was waiting for me).

Every time I tried to leave he would step in front of me and telling me how “sexy” I am and “if only you were older”. He would only let me leave when I faked a phone call from my “boyfriend.”

– KD

Location: Moreno Valley, CA

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“Sexy, right. I was 12.”

November 19, 2013 By Contributor

I’ll never forget the first time I was harassed in the street. I was 12 years old. I was walking to my grandmother’s house to visit her, I was happy and excited. Then a car pulls up, a man in his forties and a younger man (whom I assumed was his son) stopped to yell, “Hey, sexy.”

Sexy, right. I was 12.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

It has to start with early education and really changing the mentality about women’s role in public space and society in general. As long as women are seen as belonging in the home, as long as we are marginalized and viewed as beings existing for the entertainment of men, street harassment will continue.

– Anonymous

Location: Jerusalem, Israel

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Check out the new book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers!

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Digest of Street Harassment News: Nov. 18, 2013

November 18, 2013 By HKearl

Sarasota, FL

This is a bimonthly digest.

** Sign up to receive a monthly e-newsletter from Stop Street Harassment ***

Street Harassment Stories:

Share your story! You can read street harassment stories on the Web at:

Stop Street Harassment Blog

Bijoya in Bangladesh

Collective Action for Safe Spaces

Everyday Sexism

HarassMap in Egypt

The Hollaback sites

Name and Shame in Pakistan

Ramallah Street Watch in Palestine

Resist Harassment in Lebanon

Safe City India

Safe Streets in Yemen

Street Harassment in South Africa

Street Harassment In the News, on the Blogs:

* Women’s Media Center, “Second-Ever City Council Hearing on Street Harassment“

* Philadelphia City Paper, “City Council hearing focuses on street harassment“

* The Guardian, “‘Hey bitch’ someone yelled out a car window. It’s what I’ve come to expect“

* The Massachusetts Daily Collegian, “Stand against street harassment“

* The Times of India, “Harassed on street? Share your story online“

* First Post, “Sexual harassment, no rights: Egypt is the worst Arab state for women“

* Morocco World, “Moroccans speak out against sexual harassment“

* Huffington Post, “Burt’s Bees ‘Let The Catcalling Commence’ Label Seems Like A Great Reason Not To Buy Their New Lotion“

* Jezebel, “Burt’s Bees Stupidly Puts ‘Let the Catcalling Commence’ on Product“

* PR Daily, “Burt’s Bees nixes packaging that encourages catcalling“

* India Today, “Girl burnt alive for resisting sexual harassment in Uttar Pradesh“

* BBC News, “India: ‘Eve-teasing’ fight-back film divides opinion“

* Huffington Post, “Listen Up Street Harassers: Enough Is Enough“

* Boston.com, “‘Street harassment’ common in Boston, advocacy group’s survey finds“

* Peru This Week, “Peru: TV presenter lands in hot water for comments about street harassment“

* Ahram Online, “Egypt women ride bikes to defy sexual harassment“

Announcements:

New:

* Save the date — International Anti-Street Harassment Week is March 30 – April 5 in 2014!

* Read about the successful Philadelphia City Council Hearing on Street Harassment on Nov. 7!

* The 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence begin November 25!

Reminders:

* Donate to help fund the FIRST EVER national study on street harassment in the USA!

* Buy a copy of the new book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers! Here’s how to hold a book club fundraiser for SSH

10 Tweets from the Week:

* @audiohelkuik A construction worker yelled “Hey baby!” at me on the street. I live such a cliche life. #streetharassment #omaha

* @Midnightproblem Sometimes I feel bad for ignoring guys for saying hello but after so many years of street harassment I would rather not set myself up 4 that

* @eloise265 when are people going to understand that street harassment is NOT OKAY

* @lenubienne From street harassment to song lyrics, misogyny is everywhere, and it is debilitating.

* ‏@marciethehuman people who think street harassment are compliments: can u not

* @thesparkoflightPeople think negative attention = self worth, and when they don’t receive street harassment they consider themselves ‘unattractive’

 * ‏@_HellFrozenRain @TheRealMrWriter -i got egged on the way home once. Endured a plethora of street harassment as i had to take off my jacket

* @MegascgMastenbr man just yelled at me from inside his car, I want to lick your asshole streetharassment catcalling cc hollaback

* @TheChirpingCat New #StreetHarassment strategy: Say “Nooo Waaay” to everything regardless of content just like my favorite toddler says to me.

* @mmmariesa Nothing like good old fashioned street harassment to ruin a night before it even starts

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Filed Under: News stories, Resources, street harassment

New Campaign in Vadodara, India

November 18, 2013 By HKearl

Youth in Vadodara, India, in association with Rotaract Club of Vadodara have created a platform to girls facing harassment to share their stories at NAARI-Against Sexual Harassment.

The Times of India reports:

“Vadodara is much safer compared to cities like Delhi, Mumbai or Pune, but we cannot deny the fact that even here girls really can’t walk freely on the streets and in public gathering. Miscreants chase them on bikes, honk or stare at them making girls uncomfortable. Just using ‘the safest city’ tag does not help. We have to stop street harassment,” the youngsters are making this online appeal.

“For getting real stories, we have embedded a form where the girls can share their experiences without disclosing their real identities. Since, women residing in slums don’t have any access to internet, we will be personally visiting the slum areas and collect their feedback,” says Kush Vyas, president of Rotaract Club of Vadodara, which with its 30 young members has spread over 11,000 Facebook invitations.

“Our motive behind this campaign, which will be initially for 20 days, is to spread awareness and inspire girls to speak up. Even if it changes the mindset of five per cent population, it will act as a major step towards betterment of the city and its streets,” adds Vyas.

Stories of courage have also started pouring since the time, the drive has been started. For instance, a girl has shared her experience of how she was chased by two boys, who had made indecent comments against her when she was returning home on a two-wheeler near Jail Road. After she stopped the duo and threatened to call police, the miscreants were forced to apologize.”

H/T @KDesborough

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Filed Under: News stories, street harassment

Street Harassment in South Korea

November 15, 2013 By Contributor

I am a 26 year old Canadian woman, currently in my second year as an English teacher in Incheon, South Korea. There are many reasons why I love living in this country, but I have found that street harassment is a huge issue here. I feel that it is important to talk about a couple of my experiences, as more and more young women come to this country to teach.

Simply being a foreign woman seems to be an invitation for unwelcome comments or attention, especially in smaller towns where foreigners are rare. I have discussed this with Korean friends, and I have been told that many of the sex workers in South Korea come from Eastern European countries, and also a lot of the pornography that circulates is imported from Japan, Europe or North America (making, selling, and distributing pornography is illegal in South Korea). This perpetuates a certain reputation that foreign women are all sex workers and “sluts”. Men will make these comments or advances hoping that the woman is either a prostitute, or is “easy” like the women in the pornography they’ve seen. Or perhaps they just look at foreign women as easy targets – we can’t speak Korean so we can’t do anything about the comments, right?

In groups, and in the daytime, I feel very safe in Korea. However when I am alone, especially at night, I walk the streets with my head down and do not make eye contact with any man I pass. I have been catcalled by men young and old on the street, in restaurants, and even in the hallways of my own apartment building. Sometimes it is in English (“Wow, sexy! Are you Russian?” – which essentially means, “Are you a prostitute?”) and other times it is in Korean (“Olma-eyo?” which means, “How much is it?”). It is not always just words, either.

Three weeks ago I was in Hongdae, which is a popular area in Seoul for younger people to dance and drink on weekends. I was at one of my favourite clubs with a group of friends – men and women, Koreans and foreigners. While we were dancing, a young Korean man walked by and lifted up the back of my skirt, showing my underwear to whoever was behind me. I tried to grab the man’s wrist and yelled out at him, but he kept walking. I don’t think he realized we had Koreans with us, because he was extremely taken aback when one of our friends followed him and confronted him in Korean. He pretended he didn’t know what we were talking about, but I could tell he was mortified that he got caught. Even though I was glad the guy didn’t get away with it, I was extremely shaken up and embarrassed by what happened, and left immediately.
There was another incident in March of last year, as well. I kept this to myself for a very long time, because I find it difficult to talk about.
I had only been in Korea for three months at the time. It was a Friday night, about midnight, and I had been out for dinner and drinks with my co-workers. They made sure our taxi dropped me off right on the corner of my block so I wouldn’t have to walk far by myself. I literally had a two minute walk to my apartment.

As I was on my way, a drunk old Korean man stumbled past me and called out to me. He seemed lost and confused. I stopped, thinking he might need help. He kept trying to talk to me in Korean, but I held out my hands, trying to signal that I didn’t know any Korean. He stumbled forward and hooked his arm through mine, and leaned on me as if he couldn’t walk any further by himself. I was taken aback, but unsure as to what to do. At the time I was just learning about Korean culture, and I had been told respecting your elders is extremely important. There was a convenience store a little ways away, so I thought I should walk him to the store where he could use their phone or talk to the cashier in his own language. I took a few steps with him in that direction, when suddenly he turned and grabbed me close. He was a lot stronger than I would have guessed, and his breath reeked of Soju. He grabbed at my breasts and butt through my winter coat, so hard that he was hurting me even through al the layers of clothing. He was trying to open-mouth kiss me, so I put my hand over his face and shoved him away. He kept coming at me and grabbing me and wouldn’t let me go. At this point I was crying and calling for help. A car drove by and pulled over, and a younger guy rolled down his window and yelled at the old man, who bolted down the street, apparently not so weak and lost after all…

For a long time I have held this memory with a lot of shame and embarrassment. I know that what happened isn’t my fault, but how could I have been so naive? I realize now that I never should have stopped, and I should have treated a creepy, drunk old man in Korea the same way that I would have treated a creepy, drunk old man in Canada – just avoid him.

I would also like to clarify that I am not trying to paint a picture of Korean men as terrible people who all harass women on the street – it is, of course, not something that every man does. However I have been the victim of street harassment more times in just over a year in South Korea than I have in my entire life back in Canada, and I am not even close to alone on this. Two of my friends were using public toilets, and looked up to see Korean men watching them over the stall walls. I’ve heard multiple stories about foreign women being groped in subways, the bus, elevators and clubs. It is clearly an issue that needs to be discussed.

– Anonymous

Location: Incheon, South Korea

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Check out the new book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers!

 

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