Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming
A man groped my bum as I was walking out of the tube on my way to my rape counselling session. I felt violated, bewildered and too stunned to react. By the time I’d composed myself to think of something to say it was too late. I walked to my session in tears.
– Anonymous
Location: Seven Sisters, UK
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My boyfriend and I went on holiday to Blackpool last week. There were a few incidents of harassment and I have to say one of them really upset me….
As usual I got a few funny looks off people (I should be used to it by now) the odd “Ew” muttered as I walked past but what really struck me down was when I was walking through the town centre, near the Blackpool tower and a man walked past me looking me up and down then said “fucking hell” in a what I would describe a “disgusted” tone. It happened so quickly and unexpected. I turned around to look at him and he kept looking back at me with a smirk on his face. I felt absolutely awful. I was full up with a cold and was already feeling miserable because it wore me down when I was supposed to be enjoying myself.
My boyfriend didn’t see it happen because he was a few metres ahead of me. I told him and he just told me that people like him are idiots. Yes that’s true but that “idiot” ruined the rest of my day. I didn’t feel like doing anything else and just wanted to go straight back to the hotel and cry out of frustration. But for his sake I swallowed my anger and continued “enjoying” our day.
Just to note, I know I shouldn’t have to justify myself but no I am not the most attractive woman. I am slightly overweight, taller than the average female, have my hair natural because straightening it takes up too much time and wear light make up. I don’t doll myself up like most women my age do (I’m 21) I never even used to wear make up but I’m self conscious of my pale face so I wear some light foundation. I love my long red wavy hair but sometimes it gets frizzy. Because I was feeling under the weather that day I didn’t look my best.
I am so sick of constantly feeling worried about the way I look. Just because I’m a woman, I have to look pretty despite how I’m feeling otherwise I am going to be judged. That is exactly what happened that day. Fed up isn’t the word.
– Clarice
Location: Blackpool, UK
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Almost 200,000,000 people have watched the Gangnam Style video. It’s weird and funny and has a catchy song, but it includes the sexual objectification of women, as do WAY too many music videos. I just watched the season premiere of Saturday Night Live and one skit included a spoof of the video. Even though it was abbreviated, they were sure to include the “staring at women’s butts” scene. Disappointing.
This kind of harmful mass messaging helps normalize street harassment and disrespect for women. It’s not okay.
Update: Someone on Facebook shared a link to this article about how the video – including the sexual objectification of women – is satire. But how many of the nearly 200,000,000 people will know that? I’d bet that for most, it’s just one more image that goes into their brain and helps normalize sexual objectification.
Thoughts?
So I’m in rural Maine. We recently bought a tiny cottage here. And my husband bought me a bike. I haven’t biked since I was a kid, and never on rural roads with no shoulders. When I first moved here in July I took my bike out and tried the road. I wasn’t too nervous because it’s Maine, right? Not NYC, my other home, where everyone is in a hurry, and people honk if you are too slow crossing the street. But I was wrong.
Although all but one car or truck that passed me, slowed down and moved over, one guy in a big souped up truck honked at me and startled me so much I swerved over onto the gravel and crashed. Bleeding knees, humiliation, and several cars stopping to see if I were okay–because truly most people in Maine are courteous. I got back on my bike and hustled home and and tended my wounds and left my bike in the shed where it sat until yesterday when my husband patiently rode behind me on the road, giving me pointers, building back my confidence enough that today I set a goal to bike about four miles just on our road.
And it was going fine, cars moving over, some waving at me, the school bus pulling over, and then a big souped up truck zoomed past me, very close honking, windows down, and shouted, “get the fuck off the road,” before the truck disappeared over the next hill. I wanted to crumple into a heap and cry.
But I was about two miles from home, so I kept on biking and as I pumped I thought about how if I’d been a male biker, or a more aggressive biker, maybe they wouldn’t have honked. Did I look weak and pathetic and like someone they (it was two males) could abuse?
I got mad. I decided, this is my road too. I have the right to bike and be safe, and I was at the edge of the road, not in the middle. And guess what, because it’s rural Maine, and there’s a chance I’ll see these guys and get yelled at again if I continue biking every day. Now I’m looking forward to my bike ride tomorrow.
Make my day, stupid male harassing truckers! I’ll be watching for you and memorizing your license plate to report to the police.
Lots of people think harassment only happens in big cities, but if you are on foot, or bike, for me, my worst experiences have happened in less populated areas. Harassers live everywhere!!!
– Beckie
Location: Maine
Donate to help fund a national study on street harassment.
Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem.
Read stories, news articles, blog posts, and tweets about street harassment from the past few weeks.
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Street Harassment Stories:
Share your story! You can read street harassment stories on the Web at:
Ramallah Street Watch in Palestine
Street Harassment in South Africa
Many of the Hollaback sites
Street Harassment In the News, on the Blogs:
* The F Word Blog, “Spanish feminist subjected to harassment campaign“
* Lesoir.be, “Bruxelles punit les sexistes“
* Le Nouvel Observateur, “Harcèlement de rue : les femmes racontent le machisme“
* Women’s Media Center, “Native Americans Speak Out About Street Harassment“
* Torontoist, “New Mobile App “Not Your Baby” Calls Out Sexual Harassment“
* The Guilfordian, “Sexual harassment in Egypt escalates“
* LAist, “Women Share Their Stories Of Sexual Harassment (And Worse) On Public Transportation”
* XO Jane, “I Think We Should Have a Collective Response To Strangers Who Tell Us To Smile”
* Radio Free Europe Radio Liberty, “Baghdad Neighborhood Imposes Strict Dress Code On Women“
* Bikyamasr, “Sexual harassment awaits Egyptian girls outside schools“
* Washington Post, “In Egypt, a backlash against harassment“
* Lydia, “TAKE BACK THE DAY: ON BRINGING AN END TO STREET HARASSMENT“
* A Thrift Store, “Midge and I have a Chat About a Streetcar Named Anger“
* Cardboard Sunshine, ““The learning process is something you can incite, literally incite, like a riot.””
* SocialistAlternative.org, “Fighting back against street harassment“
* xoJane, “Where’s Your Line Between Flirting and Harassment?“
* DelawareOnline.com, “Officials: Man exposed himself at beach restrooms“
* Alternet.org, “Porn Star Stoya Speaks Out on Street Harassment“; Jezebel, “I’m a Porn Star, and if You Harass Me I Will Punch You in the Balls“
* NBCNews.com, “Suspect arrested in rape of 73-year-old birdwatcher in New York’s Central Park“
* Guardian, “Central Park rape sparks debate about social media making women safer”
* College Gloss, “Combating Street Harassment: What You Should Know“
* Sparkwood & 21, “The Story of My Sexual Assault on Muni in San Francisco“
Announcements:
New:
* Harlow Project Seeking Participants For Street Harassment Web Video Series
* METRAC released a free “Not Your Baby App” to provide responses you can use when experiencing harassment
* In San Francisco, there is a new arts-based anti-street harassment initiative called Little Bird SF
* Male allies won prestigious awards for their anti-street harassment initiatives this spring.
* Hollaback Istanbul released a new anti-harassment video featuring male allies
* In Washington, DC, Collective Action for Safe Spaces and Voices of Men acted out an anti-harassment skit on the Metro. You can do this in your city too!
* Talalo, an Afghan graffiti band, fights street harassment by putting messages on street walls.
* Denice Frohman, Poet, performs “Dear Straight People”
Reminders:
* Sign a petition about ending street harassment in Egypt.
* Stop Street Harassment recently incorporated as a nonprofit organization. Please donate so we can conduct a national street harassment study and gather much needed data documenting the problem.
* Contact Bowlmor and the New York City Transit to complain about this offensive subway ad.
* Activists in South Africa launched a website about street harassment
* The anti-sexual harassment public service announcement signs are now up in several Washington, DC metro stations!
* The Stop Street Harassment book is available in paperback for $15.
* Submit art about street harassment for the VoiceTool Product exhibit in San Francisco, CA
* The Adventures of Salwa campaign has a hotline for sexual harassment cases in Lebanon: 76-676862.
* In Bangalore, India, there is a helpline for street harassment 080 – 22943225 / 22864023
* Report #streetharassment in Pakistan at @NameAndShamePk, email nameandshame@ryse.pk, SMS 0314-800-35-68 or online at http://www.nameandshame.pk
10 Tweets from the Week:
1. @harassmap It is time this is escalated, we’re losing our lives to harassers, silence has never been more disgraceful. #endSH #Egypt #Enough
2. @alicexz I usually respond to sexual harassment on the street by 1.) INTENTLY TEXTING A NON-EXISTENT PERSON, or 2.) “No English!”
3. @Hollaback_DSM Being a male ally isn’t about what you DON’T do (harass) but what you DO do: confront other men. Together we will end #streetharassment
4. @PennyRed Ah, New York street harassment, how I haven’t missed you #hollaback #alwaysabittooscaredtohollaback
5. @mortari If you’ve never been catcalled or followed, then yes, you are missing information which is relevant to discussion of street harassment.
6. @TheCariLand Why do guys feel it’s ok to catcall out a car window or honk at females?
7. @TheFemaleWiz There’s a fine line between charming and creepy.On that note,there’s a place reserved in hell for dudes that catcall on ladies!
8. @AngryWriterGirl I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a million times more: Don’t believe in #streetharassment? Walk a few steps behind a woman on a sunny day.
9. @nd_kane @anaees Agreed, so not okay. There’s a whole campaign about Street Harassment online that’s worth a look: https://stopstreetharassment.org
10. @MarwaMfarid Who is ready to participate in an experience to document the fact that even Niqab wearing women are sexually harassed #EndSH #Egypt