A man stopped me on my lunch break at work and made such explicit, aggressive commentary I ended up hiding in a convenience store and calling a female coworker to come pick me up in her car and drive me back to the office so I didn’t have to walk back. It was less than two blocks, but I was afraid he was still out there.

Then there was the time a car full of two men and one woman chased me down in a parking lot to try and get me to agree to date one of the passengers. I think it was a prank against him, because he looked like a deer in the headlights. That makes it even more offensive and bewildering.

Too many stories to tell them all in detail. I used to like to take walks in nice weather. I’m not entirely comfortable with that any more.

I find telling people I’m a lesbian in a long term exclusive relationship (which is true) doesn’t help a bit. Actually, that tends to make it all worse. I’m a big girl, and my style of dress is pretty average, designed for comfort, not allure. About half the time when I’m harassed I get the impression the perps think I should be grateful they find me attractive. The other half of the time they just start out by calling me a cow through the car window and moving on.

– Bridgie

Location: Suburbia

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I was a teen, I developed early and had what many harassers termed “a black ass.” Almost every day, especially in the summer, and even more especially because we lived right on the edge of what was considered a “bad” neighborhood, I heard it all. I tried to just ignore it, I mean, I was just walking up to get a slurpee, not looking for some bizarre hook up. What made it even worse was my little brothers were with me, what kind of message did this send?

To this day, I think one of them continued this kind of message, and there is no way to talk to him about it now, and he has his own daughter, a little beauty, I wonder how he handles it now. I know I was embarrassed, and felt like a piece of meat, and I had no one in my life to make it better. My mom said take it as a compliment, and my dad told me if I didn’t have such a round ass it wouldn’t happen.

I didn’t even realize it affected me for a long time, didn’t even realize it was wrong. Thank you for the validation.

– DKR

Location: Newport News, VA

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I was walking on the street around where I lived, wearing my favourite summer dress when this man in a car came out of traffic and pulled up right in front of me. He pulled down his window, smiling and asking me things about myself. He even held my hand, which really started to scare me. Luckily he went away since I didn’t give him any real information, and these two older men watched the whole thing happen. They consoled me afterwards, saying that was downright creepy what that man did.

The man continued to follow me in his car, but the two men who were with me continued to give him dirty looks.

I was so afraid he would follow me home that I hid in a cemetery for a good hour. I’m very angry from this encounter because now every time I want to wear a normal looking sundress or anything eccentric, I immediately think “will that incident happen again?”

I also hate that I have to ignore people who stop me on the street who just simply need help. I was blaming myself for being so trusting, but now I’m thinking maybe it wasn’t my fault at all.

– Anonymous

Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada

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