Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“I had no idea how to react to him, he broke my brain”

By

My boyfriend and I were on a date to see a movie. We had time to kill so we went to check out a Barnes and Nobles bookstore. We were together for most of the time walking the aisles. We stopped into the store’s Starbucks, sat at a table, and everything seemed perfectly normal. He wasn’t finished with his coffee yet so I decided to go back to looking at books and I told him to catch up when he was done.

I went to the language section in the far back left corner of the store near the bathrooms. I looked over and there were some women in the far aisles. I was so into the books that I hadn’t noticed a guy come up beside me until he spoke. “Can I ask you a question?” He was tall with curly hair and glasses and his voice had some kind of accent I didn’t recognize. “Sure, what’s up?”

“Where can I take you to f**k the shit out of you?”

My mind just completely stopped working. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“Um, no.”

“Why not?” He seemed to actually be aggravated by my answer.

“Because no.”

“That’s not a reason, why not?”

“I have a boyfriend.”

“I don’t see him, where is he? I insist.”

“No.”

My stomach dropped when I turned my back on him and no one was in the aisle with me. We were right next to the bathrooms, in the far back of the store. It would have been nothing for him to pick me up. But he let me go.

I told the manager on duty and pointed him out. The manager didn’t do anything, but he kept an eye on him. I guess he really couldn’t take my word against his. I coaxed my boyfriend to leave with me but only told him what happened once we were at the theater. I didn’t need him to go to jail over one jerk with no manners.

It was crazy, I’ve never experienced that kind of aggression before. I attract quiet, sweet, soft-spoken guys. I had no idea how to react to him, he broke my brain. I don’t think I’ve ever thought about what I would or should do in that situation. This kind of thing always felt like something that happened far away, to other people.

Optional: What’s one way you think we can make public places safer for everyone?

It’s like the schools that send girls home for unacceptable clothing. It’s not the place, the clothes, or the outside variables. Boys need to be taught to respect women.

– R.B.

Location: Tyler, TX

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

Share

Super Women Talk about Street Harassment

By

On my final day at HABITAT III in Ecuador, I got to chat about street harassment with activist friends from Safecity (India) and No Molestie Di Strada (Italy) for a video clip for Climax Brasil! Check out the quick tips we give for possible creative responses you can have to street harassment (if you feel safe and have the time).

Via Climax Brasil

“[PORTUGUÊS] A #SuperUrbana encontrou Super Mulheres de outros países e bateu um papo sobre a relação das mulheres e meninas com os espaços públicos e como derrotar esse inimigo comum não só das mulheres, mas de tod@s nós: o machismo. #Habitat3 #Cities4all #Planet5050

[ESPAÑOL] #SuperUrbana encontró Súper Mujeres de otros países y tuvo una charla sobre la relación de las mujeres y niñas con los espacios públicos y como derrotar a este enemigo común no solo de las mujeres sino de tod@s nosostr@s: el machismo. #Habitat3 #Cities4all #Planet5050

[ENGLISH] #SuperUrbana met Super Women from other countries to have a chat about the relationship between women and girls and public spaces and how to defeat this common enemy; an enemy not just of women but of all of us: sexism. #Habitat3 #Cities4all #Planet5050″

 

Share

“A Chill Went Down My Spine”

By

I was unloading groceries in my mom’s car’s trunk as she ran into the store to get something she forgot. I hard a car running and when I turned around, I saw a man with short brown hair and a face broken out in acne staring at me from his silver car. My initial impression was that he was waiting for me to move my car, but that didn’t make sense. My mom parked far away from the building where there aren’t other car because she doesn’t want her car to be hit by car doors or carts. Then I thought maybe he knew me. Or maybe he saw my underwear as I leaned over to grab groceries and put them in the car?

He never rolled the window down or said anything. He just stared and looked away when he saw me looking at him. Cars were going around him. I thought maybe he was drunk because he seemed really nervous and odd. I got a weird weird feeling. So I sped up putting things away, and went to put the cart very close to the building instead of in the cart rack nearby. I kept watching him behind my back. He parked his car a space from my mom’s and waited for me to get back to my car. A chill went down my spine. I didn’t know what he was going to do. I could still see him watching me. So I went toward the store like I was going inside. When he saw me going toward the store, he pulled out and sped off.

Optional: Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

Get to where there are people and always have a plan when you are alone. Be observant of your surroundings.

– Emily

Location: Ballwin, Mo

Need support? Call the toll-free National Street Harassment hotline: 855-897-5910

Share your street harassment story for the blog.
See the book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for ideas.

Share

Late October 2016 News Round-Up

By

Here are some of the global news highlights from the past few weeks:

Illustration by Shehzil Malik
Illustration by Shehzil Malik

Tens of thousands of women marched in Argentina to protest violence against women.

“Respectful relationship” curriculum will be mandatory in all Victoria, Australia, schools next year and students will learn about social inequality, gender-based violence, and male privilege.

A video of a woman walking for two hours in San Jose, Costa Rica, garnered a lot of discussion about street harassment.

A French TV commentator kissed a young woman’s breasts without consent on live TV, sparking a national conversation about sexual abuse.

Thanks to SHE teams launched two years ago in Hyderabad, India, street harassment is down by 20%.

Half of all women in Ireland have faced some form of sexual harassment in their life.

An increase in non-consensual up-skirt recordings in tourist areas in Kyoto, Japan, has prompted more police patrolling.

Women in Morocco are standing up to street harassers.

Illustrator Shehzil Malik in Pakistan created a series of images she called #WomenInPublicSpaces.

A viral video of street harassment in Trinidad prompted the Office of the Prime Minister (Gender and Child Affairs) to state that such behavior is illegal.

Thousands of women in Turkey dressed in their best and rode bicycles to claim their right to the streets.

fancywomenonbiketurkey2016
Turkey. Via NYT Live

Share

Runner’s World Focuses on Street Harassment

By

I ran my first 5k when I was 8 years old and I began running long distances in middle school. In total, I have 25 years of running under my belt. I use running for stress relief, fitness, to enjoy nature, and to train for races. It’s also a great way to do sightseeing in a new place because you can see more than you can walking but you don’t go zipping by too fast like you might in a car. Sadly, street harassment has marred many of my runs. At least hundreds of men have verbally harassed me, a few have done worse. In my 20s, I realized this is not unusual for women runners. It’s just one more way that we lack safe and equal access to public spaces.

I am so grateful that Runner’s World tackled street harassment and runners by conducting a survey of 4,670 runners and writing a feature article for their December issue. In an unprecedented move, they released the survey results and article online last night. SSH supporter and journalist Michelle Hamilton is the author of the article.

Here is an excerpt, do read the full piece!

Two of the questions -- black is men, grey is women
Two of the survey questions — black is men’s response, grey is women’s response

“43 percent of women at least sometimes experience harassment on the run, according to a recent RW survey, compared with just 4 percent of men. In the vast majority of cases, it’s not life-threatening. But it is pervasive, and it’s upsetting, and it’s most likely happening to you or someone you know.

A man will look a woman up and down as she runs past. A driver will shout a come-on, laughing with his friends as they speed away. A person on a bike or in a car will follow a woman, and she might dart down a side street to escape. Even if nothing like this happens most days, knowing that it (or something worse) could happen causes stress. As the recent national dialogue surrounding Donald Trump’s sexist comments and alleged assaults brought to light, almost all women—runners or not—have endured unwanted sexual attention. And no matter how swift a woman’s pace, it’s impossible to outrun harassment….

There’s no immediate, easy solution, because sexual harassment is a complex societal problem. But open and honest conversations about the issue—ones that include men as well as women—are a step in the right direction. “Too often, street harassment is normalized and minimized,” Kearl says. “Listening to people’s stories with empathy is important because these actions signal that street harassment is a serious issue.” Kimmel encourages men to speak up when they witness sexist treatment. “If I say nothing, even though I don’t like the behavior,” he says, “other men assume I support it.” Even if female runners can’t be entirely spared of harassment, disrupting the status quo is a place to start.”

Share