Search Results for: do something

After going through The OpEd Project‘s public seminar about how to have a public voice, including how to write op-eds, in 2010, I began writing op-eds on street harassment. I quickly learned not to read the comments, but today, as I did research for an op-ed, I went back to the comments of my second op-ed — the first one where I shared a street harassment experience. Ugh, most of them are upsetting.

I was 27 years old, on a business trip in Oregon, and had a scary experience while running. In my op-ed, which opened with that experience, I connected my verbal harassment experience to recent stories of men raping and murdering women runners to explain why my experience scared me. I concluded with suggestions for what needed to change so that women runners would be safer.

Most of the commenters were quite upset with me and very dismissive. These are excerpts of just a few of their charming remarks:

“Wait til you lose your looks, become middle aged and the male attention stops. Then you’ll really have something to complain about. Lighten up honey.”

“If common cat calls bother her then she should grow a thicker skin and if she is scared then she should learn to protect her self. She should be happy that she has the ability to run and is pretty enough to get a cat call once in a while.”

“Find an appropriate place to run where other runners go. If you choose to just run along the side of the road in spandex or tight shorts, you will receive catcalls. That is just human nature.”

“Ms. Kearl, your picture, unless it’s been photoshopped, suggests you’re attractive. I assume that at least one reason you run is to remain so. If you’d like to avoid whistles, stop running and put on fifty pounds.”

“I would like all women to express their appreciation of my physique when they pass me. I feel harassed when they dont. I am thinking of writing a book which details the harassment of this silence. I call it “Start Public Complements: Making Public Places Welcoming for Men”. I want laws passed that make it illegal for women to pass a man and not make a positive comment about their physical features”

“Boo hoo lady get over your self. Life must be hard for you with your big problems. Grow a thicker skin and learn how to protect your self.”

“A review of Ms Kearl’s web page makes one think that Ms Kearl must seek out this type of harassing response in order to support her thesis for the book. Male predators are a very serious social danger, especially to younger women and this questionable attempt for publicity only demeans the real problem and the need to combat it. (I hope the obvious satire of the above comment helps you to appreciate how misguided Holly’s position is!)”

When I’m in the thick of street harassment activism and largely surrounded by people who get it, I can forget how many people simply do not. They think it’s no big deal, a compliment, or our fault.

In reading these comments, I am very glad that the national report on street harassment will be out on Tuesday proving this is a pervasive problem that negatively impacts people’s (primarily women’s) lives. I hope it can make a difference!

I was walking to class one morning and an attractive young woman walked past myself and another man. Immediately, he started to shout suggestive lines at her (she ignored him and kept walking) and then he began to shout very offensive things toward her and I had heard enough of it! I turned to him and asked, “What in the world is wrong with you?! That could be my sister!”

He saw I was angry and apologized. I ran and caught up to the young lady and told her that I was sorry she went through that on behalf of my gender. She said, “Its okay” as if it was something she endures everyday. I said, “No it’s not okay” I wanted to keep chatting with her, but I had to get to class. I hope wherever she is she doesn’t have to get used to that kinda thing.

What can we do create more street respect?

I think you have to reach out to men more. The only people that can make the creeps stop is the good men out there. The only problem is a good man doesn’t himself know for certain what is and is not appropriate. He feels it in his gut, but no one ever says anything so rarely do they intervene and are more likely to keep quite when those males around them act creepy.

Honestly, I would suggest holding workshops on appropriate ways of addressing women (Something never taught in schools).

– Richard S.

Location: Outside of the Brooklyn College Campus, NY

I wanna share something with Stop Street Harassment. I started following your page recently and in the past months I have also been an active feminist. There have been hundreds of times I have faced street harassment, I have been stared, touched, whistled and commented on badly and I never had the courage to do something about it. I live with a very conservative, misogynist family whom I broke ties with a few months back, the time I started doing my duties as a feminist.

After a very tough day on 15th April when I was climbing the stairs of the pedestrian’s bridge, this guy (he was young) touched my hip from behind and tried walking past me. Believe me, I have never had the courage before to do anything about it but to sit and be disgusted at myself. But that night I actually slapped the guy’s back really hard and screamed ‘Beghairat’ (it’s Urdu for ‘Shameless’ but is a negative word).

I was surprised at my courage and I have nothing but identifying myself as a feminist and your page to thank for. Maybe subconsciously but your message reached out to me. I did something about street harassment. After all these years, I finally did it tonight. I took a stand.

Thank you, so, so much! I don’t only feel more confident on the street now I also plan ahead if I see someone suspicious.

– A. Siddiqui

Location: Karachi, Pakistan

Last summer, I was enrolled at my community college for summer classes. I was happy that the school was less crowded with busy students, and I found a place to sit down and rest in between my classes. As I was reading, a boy about 17-18 approached me and asked if he could use a chair. Thinking he was going to grab it for another table he already had, I agreed. He proceeded to be somewhat annoying and asking me about what classes I was taking, which was a little annoying because I was reading, but I shook it off. He then asked me if I was single. I didn’t quite know how to respond so I hesitantly said yes.

He then stared at my chest and complimented my hair and said I was gorgeous. I was starting feeling very uncomfortable and could notice nearby students watching, snickering at my discomfort. He then asked me for my number which I finally said no to politely and said I was not interested. Something changed in this kid and he got very upset and demanded why I wasn’t giving him my number. I explained I wasn’t interested in dating, to which he said “Yeah, but you said you’re single so I don’t know why you play me like that.”

My heart was pounding and I started feeling very scared for my safety and told him I had to go meet a friend at the library, praying that he wouldn’t follow me. I bunched my keys up in my fist just in case. I never saw him again but I’m still fearful.

– Anonymous

Location: Community College

So this is just the most recent thing that has happened. Unfortunately this has happened many times before. I am 18 and still live at home and we live just a few minutes away from a grocery store. I ran to the store to get a few things we needed before dinner. I went alone, like I had many other times.

I was near the back of the store when I turned around and there was an older man extremely close to me. At first I thought I was in his way so I tried to move but he blocked me multiple times before saying I have been following you through the whole store trying to keep up with you. I was pretty petrified to be honest.

He continued with saying you just look really great today, you look so good. I was scared and didn’t know what to do there was people around but I felt completely alone. I didn’t respond or make eye contact I just wanted to leave but he blocked me again. I ended up turning around and practically running in the opposite direction and nobody seemed to notice.

I still had things I needed and I was scared every aisle I went down that he would be there. I got home and told my mom and sister what had happened and that it really freaked me out. I was shocked at how they immediately responded with oh he’s just complimenting you, he’s your secret admirer, they were saying things like this in a joking manner.

My mom could see how upset I really was by this and I told her how scared I was. She finally realized it wasn’t funny or something to joke about. She said she didn’t want me or my sister going there alone anymore. And since then I haven’t. It is ridiculous that I can’t even run to my neighborhood grocery store alone without feeling threatened.

– Taylor M.

Location: King Soopers Pharmacy 1842 N College Ave Fort Collins, CO 80524