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USA: 29 Things Men Can Do (and Not Do) to Challenge Street Harassment

March 28, 2014 By Correspondent

Joe Samalin, New York City, NY, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

March 30th – April 5th is Anti-Street Harassment Week so come out and Meet Us On The Street!

Can’t make it? Don’t know anything about street harassment? Don’t know what to do? Not sure how to make a difference? There are limitless ways to make a difference. Here are just a few to start us off…

1. Learn how often street harassment actually happens (spoiler alert: it happens a lot. Informal studies and more formal research show that the overwhelming majority of girls and women experience it often.)

2. If research and numbers are not your thing, try this. Ask three women in your life (three women you trust and who trust you) about their experiences being harassed in public. If they don’t mind sharing you can ask where it happens and how often, what is said or done, how they react (if they do), and how the harassers react back. Ask them how this affects them, and how they feel about it. But don’t forget to…

3. Listen to their answers, without judging, disagreeing, or arguing. Just listen.

4. If you do not get harassed regularly, think about what that means for you. Recognize that as a privilege we have. And then choose something else on this list and do something about it.

5. Challenge myths about street harassment.

6. For example, don’t bring up your one female friend who likes street harassment to show that it is ok to harass women. It is a slap in the face to the millions of women who don’t like it. And you can’t tell who might like it by looking at them anyway, so it’s kind of a moot point to begin with.

7. And ask that friend who likes it if they always like it, or if it depends on context.

8. Talk to (male) friends who don’t harass women. Ask them if they ever notice it, and what they think about it. Ask them what they do or can do to challenge it. And what you can all do together! Remember to challenge myths (see #5 above) and don’t defend it (#27 below).

9. Understand that street harassment and other forms of violence in public are common against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people and people of color, as well as women and girls. And understand too that all those categories are not mutually exclusive.

10. Support organizations like Girls For Gender Equity, Incite! Women of Color Against Violence, Stop Street Harassment, Hollaback, Center for Anti-Violence Education, Anti-Violence Project, RightRides, and others working to support those affected by street harassment and other related forms of violence.

11. Safely and respectfully intervene when you see harassment in public. Be creative!

12. Practice practice practice what you can say to friends, co-workers, teammates, classmates, and family members when they harass women:
“Cut that out, it really makes me uncomfortable.”
“Don’t do that in front of me….or at all. It’s not right.”
“You really shouldn’t do that. It’s disrespectful and it is called harassment.”
“(Insert witty line here.)”

13. Practice what you can say to strangers when they harass women
“Hey man I heard what you said to those women and it’s really not ok.”
“Don’t do that around here.”
“Can you please cut that out? People are just trying to get through their day and you are bothering them.”
“It’s not a compliment.”
“Don’t tell women to smile – they can feel however they want to feel.”
“(Insert another witty line here.)”

14. Print up tee-shirts with messages like ‘her name isn’t baby’, ‘it isn’t a compliment, it’s harassment’, ‘respect women and girls in public’, and more. Give them to men you know. Or sell them and give the profit to organizations addressing violence against women.

15. Join/support/get trained by agencies promoting healthy non-violent masculinity – Men Can Stop Rape, A Call To Men, Men Stopping Violence, Coach For America, White Ribbon Campaign, and others.

16. Contact men in leadership positions (coaches, politicians, business owners, teachers, etc.) and get them to make public statements against street harassment.

17. Figure out fun creative ways to interrupt street harassment on your block and in your neighborhood.

18. Practice your ‘hell no’ look for when other men turn to you in public and try and get you to harass women and girls with them, or to have your back when they get called out for it.

19. Film and release your own hometown video about men challenging street harassment to try and match the coolness of NYC , California, Northern Azerbaijan, and Egypt.

20. Use art, theater, music, or whatever else you are good at and enjoy doing to raise a little awareness about men challenging street harassment.

21. Join us for anti-street harassment week this year and every year.

22. Actually, make every week anti-street harassment week.

23. Think of one thing you can do today that would challenge street harassment, and then…

24. Do that thing, and then…

25. Share that thing you did with others, so they can try it too.

26. Add to this list and share it with others – at home, at work, at school, at church, at practice, everywhere.

27. Don’t defend it.

28. Don’t ignore it

29. Don’t do it.

Joe Samalin has been addressing gender-based violence for over 15 years, including as the Training and Technical Assistance Coordinator for Men Can Stop Rape. He is currently the Outreach and Training Manager for the Disaster Distress Helpline and is examining among other things gender-based violence in the aftermath of disasters. Follow him on Twitter, @joesamalin.

Snickers: Men are not naturally harassers & women don’t owe men their attention

March 26, 2014 By HKearl

UPDATE: Please sign the Care2 & Stop Street Harassment Petition!

Have you seen any of Snickers’ “You’re not you when you’re hungry” campaign? They show someone doing something out of character — until they eat a Snickers and then return to their normal self.

They have a new commercial in this campaign that was filmed in Australia that caught my attention.

In it, construction workers who are hungry and thus “not themselves” yell “empowering” things to women on the streets.

“I’d like to show you the respect you deserve!”

“A woman’s place is where she chooses!”

“You know what I’d like to see? A society in which the objectification of women makes way for gender-neutral interaction free from assumptions and expectations.”

Since Snickers is saying they are saying these things while they are not themselves, it suggests that when they are their normal selves they, what, yell crude and harassing things to women? Ummm, why would we ever feed them, then?

Also, holy crap — this is the answer to our problem — we can solve street harassment by starving men!

HA.

In all seriousness, there are two main reasons why this commercial is problematic:

1 – The trope that street harassment is only perpetrated by construction workers is OLD. Yet, companies and media continue to love to use it, with recent examples being SNL and Lego. In reality, men of all social classes, races, and professions street harass and there are many construction workers who do NOT street harass. Let’s try to at least be accurate in the representation of street harassers.

2 – Even though the construction workers are saying positive, non-harassing things, they are actually still engaging in behavior we do not support. They are singling women out and demanding their time and attention as they yell at them. Men are able to walk by the site and go about their business and keep thinking their thoughts, but the same is not true for women. They are interrupted, their attention is demanded. That is not equality. If you wouldn’t yell it at a man, you probably shouldn’t yell it at a woman. Remember: women do not owe you their time or attention!

You can contact Snickers to let them know why you’re #NotBuyingIt!

Also, a few suggested tweets:

@SNICKERS the way to stop #streetharassment isn’t to starve men. it’s to leave women alone on the streets!

@SNICKERS not all construction workers are street harassers when they “are themselves.” stop promoting that tired trope

@SNICKERS women do not own anyone their attention, whether it’s for “positive” or harassing attention

Street Harassment and the Law: Freedom of Speech, Fighting Words, and the Reasonable Man Standard

White Men Write the Laws

Verbal harassment is both the most common form of street harassment and the type that is most difficult to regulate and report.

This is in large part because the laws in the United States have historically been written by white, straight men, and often are written and enforced to only protect against the types of violence, harassment, and intrusion that they experience.

Take for example, physical forms of street harassment, they are always illegal and usually something that police will take seriously. This is not because it is street harassment but because the law is meant to protect everyone from basic acts of physical violence.

Thus, in order to anticipate and address this possible gender bias, it’s helpful to be familiar with three key legal concepts and how they apply to street harassment.

1. The First Amendment

State laws meant to protect citizens from any type of verbal harassment are necessarily narrowly defined because they cannot violate the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, granting us all the right to freedom of speech. Any law that broadly restricts what someone can say is likely to be ruled unconstitutional in court.

In fact, the United States Supreme Court sets a very high bar against government intervention in the case of the First Amendment, only regulating speech that is clearly intimidating, rather than merely offensive, which is what most street harassment is. In addition, regulations have to be applied in a “content neutral” way that does not target particular kinds of speech.

* In practice, the court often strikes down laws aimed at racist or sexist speech, but, as sociologist Dr. Laura Beth Nielsen’s research has shown, they have upheld laws that restrict panhandling, which is another form of potentially offensive public speech.

* In her study of offensive speech in the California Bay Area, Nielsen suggests this reflects a judiciary that is largely male and thus unfamiliar with the problem of street harassment.

This makes it difficult to prohibit catcalls and other types of verbal street harassment. But the First Amendment is intended to protect our rights in the context of political discourse and democratic debate. It doesn’t mean that we have the right to use profanity or insult each other whenever we feel like it.

2. Reasonable Man

Throughout this guide, you will find laws that include phrases like “a reasonable person” or “reasonable fear.” This is a key legal principle that makes regulating verbal street harassment challenging. These phrases provide guidance for judges and jurors in interpreting the law. Because our laws are meant to be generally applicable to society, they are often written according to how a reasonable person is expected to react to a given situation.

For example, if a law prohibits actions that would make a reasonable person fear for his or her safety, the fact that I was scared by your action is not enough to establish that you broke the law. Your action would have to be something that would cause fear for the average, reasonable person – not just the person that was actually made afraid.

Because the majority of lawmakers and judges in the United States have historically been white men, and white men don’t typically experience street harassment, or if they do, they are rarely afraid as a result, the fear associated with street harassment has not always passed the reasonable man test.

3. Fighting Words

The the fighting words doctrine is another legal principle that makes it challenging to address verbal street harassment. It applies specifically to speech and often employs the reasonable man standard.

Lawmakers can’t broadly prohibit speech, even when it is insulting or offensive to some. However, U.S. courts have ruled that the First Amendment does not protect speech that is likely to incite violence because “fighting words” do not contribute to democratic discourse and because society has a collective interest in reducing violence.

As such, words or language that would incite a reasonable person to react violently may be legally prohibited. Many of the verbal harassment laws included in this guide either refer specifically to fighting words or prohibit taunts, insults, or other language that is likely to incite a violent reaction. Fighting words are typically prohibited by disorderly conduct, disturbance of the peace, and harassment laws.

The fighting words doctrine is problematic for addressing street harassment because, although the words do not have to incite actual violence in order to be considered a violation of the law, the language has to be such that a “reasonable person” would react violently.

* Women – the typical targets of street harassment – do not usually react violently to men who speak to them on the street.

* The kind of comment that might make a man want to throw a punch often makes a woman afraid for her safety, and so she may be unlikely to retaliate with physical force.

* Simultaneously, male law enforcement officers and judges, not typically being targets of street harassment, may not find verbal harassment as alarming, intimidating, or infuriating as women do.

Thus there is little precedent for a judge to see verbal street harassment as fighting words.

It’s Time for the Reasonable Woman

The challenge of the fighting words doctrine has led some scholars to argue for a “reasonable woman” standard: if the average woman would be annoyed, alarmed, or threatened by a particular comment, it should be considered illegal speech. But changing legal precedent takes time, many court cases, and a certain amount of awareness among lawmakers, law enforcement officers, judges, jurors, and other individuals tasked with writing and interpreting laws.

What Does it Mean For You?

In the meantime, this may mean that police officers or legal officials won’t always take cases of street harassment seriously. Sadly, we can’t guarantee that every incident reported to police will result in a positive outcome. But that’s why safe spaces activism — and continuing to report serious street harassment — is so important.

“Hey, baby!” may never become illegal speech, and there are good reasons why it shouldn’t. But the more offensive insults and slurs that street harassers use are likely what a fighting words law would prohibit when directed at a man and so should be equally prohibited when directed at a woman.

By raising awareness about street harassment in a variety of ways, from creative direct action to calling the police, we can demonstrate the violent and inappropriate nature of verbal street harassment. Over time, we can achieve more gender equitable outcomes from our legal system, and we hope to move closer to those outcomes with this guide.

Return to the Street Harassment and the Law Landing Page >

SSH Board Member Shares What Men Can Do

November 5, 2013 By HKearl

Check out this awesome interview our board member Relando Thompkins did for The Root last week!

“”One of the best things men can do to work against street harassment is talk to other men,” says Relando Thompkins, who sits on the board of directors of Stop Street Harassment. As a resident of Detroit, he talks to a lot of men who gripe about the responses they get from women, and he tries to make them understand that what she finds offensive is not up to him. “Just like a white person can’t tell me what I find offensive in terms of race relations, I can’t tell a woman what’s offensive.”

In my conversation with Thompkins, he compared men who holler at woman to police who engage in stop and frisk. Whatever benefit the New York Police Department claims from its stop-and-frisk programs, numerous studies and statistics have shown it targets men of color more than any other group, thus making an already complicated relationship between the police and black and brown communities more fraught.

“My experiences with racism have helped me become increasingly aware of others who have to deal with oppression of any sort because of targeted identities,” said Thompkins, referring to woman who are cat-called and consider it a form of harassment.

There are also other benefits to talking to other men about street harassment. Every guy I know has a story of being out with a woman and hearing another man say something to that woman. That kind of experience can probably help a man check himself. Then there’s also the benefit of being able to better understand that rejection from women happens to the best of men. Just like we mean no offense when we approach a woman, most women don’t mean any offense when they reject us. Is it offensive for women to label as street harassment every unwelcome but respectful attempt at engagement? Well, no one can tell you what offends, right? Our reaction is up to us.”

UK: What am I supposed to do when I get harassed?

October 24, 2013 By Correspondent

By: Levi Grayshon, Manchester, England, SSH Correspondent

When you hear someone’s street harassment story, it is very easy to tell them “you should have…” or “If I was you, I would…”, but most of the time, it is not so simple.

Reacting in a certain way can only antagonise the harasser, placing the victim in a much more dangerous and/or hostile situation. In addition to this, it may be frightening for the victim to challenge their harasser, especially with aggression, particularly if they are alone and are being targeted by multiple people.

When harassed, it is easy to feel as though you are at fault. When a stranger is shouting lewd comments at you, or touching you, or wolf whistling at you, it is easy to feel small, hurt and under threat. It is hard to remember that it the harassers problem, and not yours. We are told as women to be polite, and that it happens because men are trying to show us that they find us attractive, but when telling friends about situations in which we were harassed we get asked why we didn’t act more assertively, so it’s little wonder that figuring out how to react to harassment is often so confusing, as well as scary.

Something that can make harassment situations a lot easier to handle is the involvement of allies in the street. When other men tell the harasser what he is doing wrong, it can soothe the problem. It is not ideal (and a world when harassers actually listen to the victim – wait, a world where there are no harassers – would be much better), but educating the harasser is a much better way to ease the problem, rather than fighting it with more aggressive behaviour. The recent youtube video, “Shit Men Say to Men Who Say Shit to Women in the Street” highlighted that not all men are on the same team as men who harass, and are willing to speak up against them. Unfortunately, in a lot of instances, bystanders feel uneasy about becoming involved.

Some more helpful Stop Street Harassment tips are to be firm with the harasser, and avoid being apologetic, whilst calling them out on their unsavoury behaviour, but without insulting them. Following on from this, try to avoid engaging further with the harasser (as tempting as it may be if they try to argue with you), and to keep moving, detaching yourself from the situation. As well as this, it may prove helpful to report the harasser, for instance, if they are wearing a uniform, or driving in a company vehicle. Even threatening to report them (especially to their employer) can encourage the harasser to see what they are doing wrong.

Even some institutions are going out of their way to ensure that women feel safer in public. For instance in Tokyo, women’s only carriages were introduced on the problematic Saikyo line a few years ago, the route used by many schoolgirls, and labelled a “gropers paradise” by many. Even male commuters welcomed the changes. But is segregation the answer? Would education not work better?

There is no right or wrong answer to the question “what should I do when I am harassed in the street?”, but there is one thing to remember– you are not the one in the wrong.

[Check out the new book 50 Stories about Stopping Street Harassers for more ideas.]

Levi graduated from university with a degree in Film and TV screenwriting this summer. As a freelance writer, she has been writing for The F-Word and Gamer-UK. You can follow her rants and ramblings on Twitter, @part_heart.

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