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Swimming Pool Gropers

July 21, 2009 By Contributor

Two years ago, when I was about to turn twelve, my friends and family took me to Dubai. For my actual birthday, we went to a swim park to hang out.

At the park there was a pool that went really deep. So my friends and I decided to race to the back of the pool. As I swam, I got to the bottom of the pool. I was out of breath, so I went back to the top. When I resurfaced, I realized that a bunch of guys (probably in their early twenties) had banded around me, trapping me in their circle. They started saying things to me, but I couldn’t hear them because I was so scared and frightened. I tried swimming to the bottom and away, but each time they managed to grab me and pull me back up. Then one of them behind me started running his hands up my thighs. That is when I started to kick and scream, until finally one of the lifeguards heard me. I don’t really remember how I got out of the water. All I remember is my friend asking me if I was okay and a couple of local cops talking to the men (there must have been five of them). They asked a couple of questions and that was it. My mom came to pick me up, and we moved on from that incident.

I just wanted to tell the story since I have never spoken of it before. Thnx for listening. KK

-Karyn T.

Location: Dubai

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Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: dubai, grope, park, sexual harassment, street harassment, swimming pool

Weekly Round Up – July 19

July 19, 2009 By HKearl

Stories:

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

  • On this blog, an American woman living in Tunisia talks about the harassment she faces, a woman shares a harassment experience she had in Denver, CO, and another woman talks about a creepy neighbor who keeps her and her daughters afraid to leave their house in TX.
  • On Holla Back NYC a woman took a photo of a man masturbating on the beach while staring at an unsuspecting woman
  • On Holla Back DC! a woman talks about being told to smile, another shares a story about harassment she received at a grocery store, a third discussed being grabbed on the sidewalk by a man, and lastly a fourth shares how she was called cutie by men on the street.

In the News:

  • The Chicago Sun Times had a front page (online) story about how women activists in Chicago prompted changes to the sexual harassment policies of the Chicago Transit Authority!
  • A group of women in Sudan were arrested and several were flogged for the crime of wearing pants in public.
  • An article in the Miami Herald about changing attitudes in policies in Saudi Arabia highlights the attitude that if women were allowed to drive, they would experience more sexual harassment in public, so it’s better not to let them drive.

Announcements:

  • In partnership with local activist, including the facilitators of Holla Back DC!, I am helping to organize a free, one-day summit on street harassment, to be held in October 2009 in Washington, DC. We are holding a photography contest right now for photographers who capture or depict street harassment, particularly in the DC area. Selected winners will have the chance to show/sell their work at a reception the evening before the summit.
  • RightRides in NYC recently has expanded their services of a free ride home from Saturday nights to include Friday nights too! They offer this service from 11:59 p.m. – 3 a.m. in 45 neighborhoods across four boroughs. To call for a ride, the dispatch number is (718) 964-7781 OR (888)215-SAFE (7233).

Street Harassment Resource of the Week:

Gardner, Carol Brooks. Passing By: Gender and Public Harassment (Berkeley, CA: University of California Press, 1995).

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Filed Under: Events, News stories, Stories, street harassment Tagged With: carol brooks gardner, catcalling, colorado, creepy neighbor, demanding a smile, gender-based public harassment, holla back, rightrides, safe ride home, saudi arabia, sexual harassment, street harassment, texas, tunisia, weekly round up

Creepy neighbor

July 18, 2009 By Contributor

I am from Converse, Texas Bexar County, and I live on a nice cul-de-sac in a decent subdivision, I thought until recently.

I have a neighbor who intentionally stares at me and my daughters (ages 17 & 13). My youngest can’t walk to the mailbox and back without him looking at her. When she walks from the bus stop he watches her. My husband is stationed elsewhere and it has gotten bad. We have an above ground pool that we had to move because he watches them. He recently put up solar screens on his windows. It is really bad. We went to leave one night and he and his friend watched us leave. It is really getting uncomfortable. I can’t do anything until he “attempts” something, and by then it could be too late. We can’t move right now. It is frustrating and at times scary.

My backyard in most areas sits above my privacy fence, to give you an idea of what I am about to talk about. I have a homeowners association and I am waiting to get into trouble because, out of fear, I rushed and had a pool deck with privacy fencing to go around it so he could no longer see my daughters. He would go to a street over where his friend lives and watch us there also. It has gotten too much. My daughters don’t want to go outside because of this guy and his friends.

-anonymous

Location: Converse, Texas Bexar County

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: creepy neighbor, sexual harassment, Stories, street harassment

It’s time harassing men faced real consequences for their actions

July 17, 2009 By Contributor

I was walking down the street in downtown Denver, Colorado, near the State Capitol, in July 2008 minding my own business. I know people love to blame women and what we wear for the rude, threatening and harassing behavior of men. Because of course, men can’t in any way be held responsible for their actions and reactions to women, right? It’s always the woman’s fault. Well, I’m tired of being blamed. So, I’m not even going to mention what I was wearing because it is irrelevant. I was wearing what millions of American women wear every summer. I will leave it at that. I’m sure someone else will want to blame me for where I was walking, as if I had no right to walk freely where I want in my own city in broad daylight. I’m not going to take any blame for that either. The men in this scenario are to blame.

I was walking down the street and there were two men ahead of me. I didn’t think anything of it. But suddenly, they must have heard me walking behind them, even though I was still quite a distance away. Then, they both stopped and stood there in the middle of the sidewalk, staring and leering at me. Two men against one woman. I despised them at that moment.

I slowed down to assess the situation. Even though it was the middle of the afternoon in broad daylight, there was no one else around at the time. I felt scared and nervous because they just kept standing there staring at me as I walked toward them. As I approached them, one man extended his arms, asking for a hug, the other just stood there and glared at me with this mean look. I walked a wide half-circle around them and I said “Stop staring at me and leave me alone!!! Stop harassing women!!!” The one who held out his arms acquiesced and said, “Alright, we will.” Just like that. I continued to watch my back as I walked further away from them. The other man continued to give me a mean stare as I walked by. I stared right back at him.

I continued on until I got to a place where there were a lot more people and got on the light rail train I needed. But the feelings of anger and injustice of that event remain to this day. These jerks got to harass, disturb my peace of just walking down the street, minding my own business. What right did they have to stand there and stare at me, making me feel unsafe? Who are these men, who think they have the right to disrupt women’s lives like this without consequences.

But there are consequences, more than they’ll ever realize. These types of men make women HATE them. It makes us want to take action against them. I should never have had to deal with that. No woman should. Yet, we are forced to day in and day out by a culture that sees women primarily as sex objects with body parts that are toys for immature, stupid men to play with.

So, I ask you, what did I do to deserve being treated this way by 2 men I’d never seen before in my life. I was female, that’s what. Guilty as charged. Because these men are so weak and selfish and powerless, they feel a temporary rise in a feeling of false power by harassing women who are strangers to them. Mature men know that power can never come from harming another person, by demeaning them with disrespectful behavior.

I’m writing this because this is only one of many occasions of harassment I have had to deal with in my life. I’ve been harassed when wearing summer clothes. I’ve had men make unwanted comments to me wearing winter coats and clothes. I’ve been followed in grocery stores, had men I didn’t know stare me down in parking lots as I put groceries in my trunk. I’ve had men “hitting on me” on the train and while I waited for trains, to the point of being intrusive and rude. I’ve been sexually harassed at work, having pornographic emails sent to me on company email. I’ve had men make rude, unwanted overtures to me as I walked into my apartment complex. I’ve had men stare at my breasts through binoculars. Need I say anymore?

I’ve had it with men. I’ve heard men say out of anger, when they hear of women filing complaints of sexual harassment, how they want to make women pay. Funny how men have no idea of how much women like me want to make them pay. And they will.

This harassment is a problem. I’m tired of it being minimized. I’m tired of women being given all the responsibility to stop it. I’m tired of there being no legislation to protect women. I’m tired of men being given a free pass to harass women and not be expected to take any responsibility for controlling themselves. I refuse to take any blame for these despicable men’s behavior.

– L.S.

Location: Denver, Colorado

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: colorado, denver, fear, sexual harassment, Stories, street harassment

It's time harassing men faced real consequences for their actions

July 17, 2009 By Contributor

I was walking down the street in downtown Denver, Colorado, near the State Capitol, in July 2008 minding my own business. I know people love to blame women and what we wear for the rude, threatening and harassing behavior of men. Because of course, men can’t in any way be held responsible for their actions and reactions to women, right? It’s always the woman’s fault. Well, I’m tired of being blamed. So, I’m not even going to mention what I was wearing because it is irrelevant. I was wearing what millions of American women wear every summer. I will leave it at that. I’m sure someone else will want to blame me for where I was walking, as if I had no right to walk freely where I want in my own city in broad daylight. I’m not going to take any blame for that either. The men in this scenario are to blame.

I was walking down the street and there were two men ahead of me. I didn’t think anything of it. But suddenly, they must have heard me walking behind them, even though I was still quite a distance away. Then, they both stopped and stood there in the middle of the sidewalk, staring and leering at me. Two men against one woman. I despised them at that moment.

I slowed down to assess the situation. Even though it was the middle of the afternoon in broad daylight, there was no one else around at the time. I felt scared and nervous because they just kept standing there staring at me as I walked toward them. As I approached them, one man extended his arms, asking for a hug, the other just stood there and glared at me with this mean look. I walked a wide half-circle around them and I said “Stop staring at me and leave me alone!!! Stop harassing women!!!” The one who held out his arms acquiesced and said, “Alright, we will.” Just like that. I continued to watch my back as I walked further away from them. The other man continued to give me a mean stare as I walked by. I stared right back at him.

I continued on until I got to a place where there were a lot more people and got on the light rail train I needed. But the feelings of anger and injustice of that event remain to this day. These jerks got to harass, disturb my peace of just walking down the street, minding my own business. What right did they have to stand there and stare at me, making me feel unsafe? Who are these men, who think they have the right to disrupt women’s lives like this without consequences.

But there are consequences, more than they’ll ever realize. These types of men make women HATE them. It makes us want to take action against them. I should never have had to deal with that. No woman should. Yet, we are forced to day in and day out by a culture that sees women primarily as sex objects with body parts that are toys for immature, stupid men to play with.

So, I ask you, what did I do to deserve being treated this way by 2 men I’d never seen before in my life. I was female, that’s what. Guilty as charged. Because these men are so weak and selfish and powerless, they feel a temporary rise in a feeling of false power by harassing women who are strangers to them. Mature men know that power can never come from harming another person, by demeaning them with disrespectful behavior.

I’m writing this because this is only one of many occasions of harassment I have had to deal with in my life. I’ve been harassed when wearing summer clothes. I’ve had men make unwanted comments to me wearing winter coats and clothes. I’ve been followed in grocery stores, had men I didn’t know stare me down in parking lots as I put groceries in my trunk. I’ve had men “hitting on me” on the train and while I waited for trains, to the point of being intrusive and rude. I’ve been sexually harassed at work, having pornographic emails sent to me on company email. I’ve had men make rude, unwanted overtures to me as I walked into my apartment complex. I’ve had men stare at my breasts through binoculars. Need I say anymore?

I’ve had it with men. I’ve heard men say out of anger, when they hear of women filing complaints of sexual harassment, how they want to make women pay. Funny how men have no idea of how much women like me want to make them pay. And they will.

This harassment is a problem. I’m tired of it being minimized. I’m tired of women being given all the responsibility to stop it. I’m tired of there being no legislation to protect women. I’m tired of men being given a free pass to harass women and not be expected to take any responsibility for controlling themselves. I refuse to take any blame for these despicable men’s behavior.

– L.S.

Location: Denver, Colorado

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

Share

Filed Under: Stories Tagged With: colorado, denver, fear, sexual harassment, Stories, street harassment

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