Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“Unleash your Inner Death Metal Singer! Holla Back!”

By

One day, several years ago, I thought my boyfriend was whistling at me outside of our apartment, I turned around and made eye contact with the actual man who whistled at me, a stranger. I noticed he seemed shocked and uncomfortable that I acknowledged him. I realized no one really says anything back to these men and I really wanted to start letting them know that not all women will pretend it didn’t happen. I wanted to humiliate them by acknowledging his ridiculous behavior.

A few years later I was walking in Eugene, OR on 5th and Blair with a female friend of mine when a man stopped at a light whistled at us. Fed up with men treating my friends and me like shit, I turned around, and in my best death metal voice yelled “FUCK OFF!!” The light turned green and the man followed us slowly down the street. I kept my phone in my hand in case we needed to call for help. We approached a one way street and walked the wrong way so he couldn’t follow us anymore.

I felt scared that this man might retaliate against me for standing up for myself. But mostly I felt proud of myself and hoped that I could make a dent in the frequency in which men treat women like this. I am so fucking sick of feeling confined to my home in hopes of avoiding this kind of intimidation! Unleash your inner “death metal singer” and Holla Back!

– anonymous

Location: Eugene, OR

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

Share

DC metro assault

By

I live in Washington, DC and got on the metro at Farragut North and was headed to Gallery Place/Chinatown. I saw a man staring at me in the metro station and it was extremely crowded. He would not take his eyes off me and I started to feel really uncomfortable. When I reached Gallery Place/Chinatown Metro Stop he saw me getting off and decided to get off the train as well. I was pretty certain that was not his stop.

He grabbed my right arm tightly and flung me against the wall as soon as I got off the metro. He started saying very inappropriate things about what he wanted to do to me, how gorgeous he thought I was, and how he could help me with my career. He told me to get out my phone and save his phone number and he was still grabbing my arm very tightly. Finally he let me go and just stared at me as I ran up the escalator. I couldn’t believe that among all of the hundreds of people in the metro station, not one person stopped to see if I was o kay, when I clearly looked uncomfortable, upset, and scared.

I never reported it and then about a week later I was in Starbucks and I hear a man behind me say, “SURPRISE!” It was the same man that harassed me in the metro station and I cannot even explain to you how startled I was. He said, “Look, I want to apologize, I think we got off on the wrong foot last time we met.”

Every emotion flew through my body at that very moment and I screamed at him and told him how inappropriate he was and how he should know better than to grab a woman like that. I told him he had no right to do what he did and he had no business following me into Starbucks. I told him I had no interest in speaking with him and I think every person getting coffee that morning heard as well. He tried to explain that he was a “professional” and why couldn’t we just have a “professional” conversation. He said he was offended that I thought so poorly of him.

Honestly, the whole situation was unbelievable. You always have to be careful because you never know who can be watching you or following you. That man clearly knew my route to work and followed me into the Starbucks that I go to every morning. Don’t be afraid to speak out and let people know when they do something that violates you and is absolutely UNACCEPTABLE.

– ZK

Location: Washington, DC

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

Share

Train bridge harasser

By

I recently graduated high school. One day I was headed to lunch with some friends and I passed under the train bridge. I made the mistake of locking eyes with some guy coming in the opposite direction. I quickly averted my eyes, but after we had passed he circled back.

“Is your name Sarah? Are you a junior at __ High School?”

I told him I wasn’t Sarah and I wasn’t a junior. My friends and I tried to walk off. He walked with us. Still assuming I was under 18, he asked for my phone number. I turned him down and we walked off very quickly.

– anonymous

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

Share

It just felt good to fight back finally

By

There has been a union protest going on near my building for the past couple of months. Generally two men at a time stand on the sidewalk in front of the building they are protesting, all except one are always polite and stand at opposite sides of the sidewalk in order to let pedestrians get on with their business. This one I have had the displeasure of dealing with several times.

This stretch of sidewalk is on my way to the grocery store, so you can imagine how often I have to go down it. I always wear my full Goth regalia to the store because homeless live around the grocery store and sometimes try to mug people- I have found from past experience they are afraid of Goths. Mind you, I am completely covered from the neck down, so it’s not like this guy has much reason to bother me in the first place. Well, each time I would walk past he would try to pick me up.

“Hey baby, where you goin’ in those big ass boots?”
“Hey puss in boots!”
“Hey sexy dom girl!”

I finally had it one day and had already been rehearsing some choice responses in my head. The older gentleman that was standing with the offender had seen this guy harass me before, and upon seeing my approaching turned to the offender and said “Dude, just don’t. She’s not interested.”

This did not deter him of course, since it’s obvious that he is an idiot. He opened his mouth and had the gall to ask, “Can I have your number, babe?”

I turned heel, the first time I had actually stopped in front of him, and yelled, “No! Would you fuck off?”

He laughed and then said “Oh, yeah, well…I have bigger boots than yours at home!”

I turned and started walking away as the older gentleman shook his head, his hand over his eyes in disgust. I called over my shoulder, “I’m sure you do, we all need to compensate for something, don’t we?”

Thankfully I haven’t seen him since. I’m sure the older gentleman reported this idiot to the union and they somehow had him removed. It just felt good to fight back finally.

– anonymous

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

Share

Miss D.C. speaks out

By

Image via Miss DC

In follow-up to yesterday’s post, I was able to connect with Jen Corey, the current Miss D.C. She graciously agreed to answer a few questions for me about her experiences with street harassment to help raise awareness about this issue.

(And if you’re in the Washington, D.C. area, you can catch her tomorrow on NBC’s “Daily Connection” from 2-3 p.m. EDT. She will be speaking about her harassment experiences. UPDATE – awesome news clip from Miss D.C. from NBC and around minute 3:30 she mentions HollaBack DC! and Stop Street Harassment)

HK: How old were you when boys or men started harassing you in public places?

JC: I was probably about 12 or 13. I was very tall for my age (about 5’8″ in middle school) so men assumed I was much older. It actually happened in front of my mom frequently and she would have to step in and say something.

HK: About how often do men harass you in public places?

JC: Extremely often. I work in Georgetown so I would say most days of the week as I’m walking down the crowded streets for lunch, someone will say something or stop in front of me and look me up and down. I also take the metro every day so I get yelled at from cars while walking to and from the metro.

HK: What impact does street/public harassment have on your life?

JC: It’s been very upsetting. I had a traumatizing experience a few years ago in Adams Morgan. I was getting all of my girl friends into a cab in front of the McDonald’s. I was the last to get in and as I was standing there, a car full of men pulled up behind me and a large man reached out and slapped me so hard on my backside that I fell face first into the cab. My friends didn’t even realize what happened at first because it sounded like a car had run over a water bottle. The men just laughed and drove away while I stood in the street crying. There were officers on the side of the road, but they did nothing. My cab driver yelled at me to get into the cab so we could follow the car, but by then I was in pain and just wanted to go home. I had a bruise on my chin and a black and blue hand print on my backside for a week.

I refused to go back there for a long time. And when I first started going back I would demand to stay sober, thinking that I could “protect” the other girls I was with.

HK: Do you feel the harassment has changed since you became Miss DC? If so, how?

JC: I don’t think it’s changed because most of the time that it happens now, I am not wearing my crown and sash. It’s just as frequent. It happens when I’m all dressed up going to an event, or when I’m leaving the gym with my hair in a ponytail wearing sweats.

HK: Where do you draw the line regarding what you find to be acceptable and unacceptable interactions between strangers in public?

JC: I don’t want to be disrespected. More than anything, I don’t want to be touched. Don’t grab my hand when I walk by and ask me “where’s your smile?” Don’t walk past me, stop and look me up and down saying “daaammmnnnnn.” I don’t expect every guy to leave me alone when I’m out, and I don’t even mind cheesy pick up lines. I just want to be respected and I don’t think that it’s too much to ask.

HK: How do you usually respond to harassers and what response/s has/have been the most empowering for you?

CJ: Well I definitely don’t go around hitting them, although, this incident over the weekend was not the first time I had to. I used to ignore it, but now I assess the situation (and my potential risk of getting hurt) and act accordingly. Most of the time I get in their face (since I’m almost 6 feet tall, we look eye to eye) and say something like, “Did you really think that was going to work?” or “Don’t touch me. I’m bigger than you.” And I always tell another guy that I know or think I can trust near by about what happened. This way if the creep comes back, I have someone else backing me up.

HK: Do you have any suggestions for other women about how to deal with this kind of harassment?

CJ: Don’t ignore it. That’s the problem. Certain men do this because they think they can get away with it. If you don’t feel comfortable doing something yourself, then tell someone near by.

HK: Do you have any ideas or plans for addressing this issue in DC?

CJ: I will be going on NBC on Wednesday, May 26, to talk about the issue. If I can be a voice for other women who are fed up, then I will do whatever I can to make things right.

This is not OK or something we should ignore. Getting grabbed is NOT just something that’s part of the bar scene and should be accepted. I have every right, as an American, to go out and not be touched or hit.

I am so glad Jen is speaking out about this. All women should have the right to go places without experiencing unwanted touching and harassment from men. Find ideas for what you can do to help end this problem. And if you’re in the DC area, check out the anti-street harassment work of HollaBack DC! and Defend Yourself and how you can get involved.

Share