Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

You’d better not be following me!

By

I was shopping in Wal-Mart the other day, minding my own business. I noticed a man staring at me and watching me as I shopped. A self-defense manual I read states clearly that women in particular are wise to be aware of and know who is watching them. So, I looked back at him, without comment, made a mental note of this person and went about my business shopping. This encounter was at the front of the store, near the entrance.

I made my way to the back of the store. A short time later, I see the same man turn the corner and walk down the aisle I was in. He approached me and said, “How are you doing, baby?” I looked him in the eye and said, “Are you following me? You’d better not be following me.” He got really rattled at that and said, “Oh no, no…” and walked away quickly. As he left I said, “Maybe I need to call security!”

I never saw that guy’s face again.

Most of you who shop at Wal-Mart know they are pretty huge. It’s not like a tiny little family market where you are likely to keep running into the same person. I don’t know if he had been watching me to see what aisle I turned down, but his appearance once again was deliberate to me. All I know is I felt trouble when I saw him again, especially after experiencing those initial uncomfortable stares.

Like so many other women who post here, I am tired of being forced to deal with these intrusive, immature, entitled males who think they have the right to follow a total stranger, who is a woman because they feel like it. Too often, we are forced to confront second-rate masculine energy, a far cry from a truly empowered male energy that considers carefully his actions toward women and how he may come across. Daily, we are dealing with men who only think about themselves and their base desires, not whether they are making their female “target” feel unsafe. I have a lot of anger at how men have contributed to my feelings of a lack of safety in public. I’m always watching my back-I carry mace and whistle at all times.

One last thing: I’m tired of being expected to follow some sort of conservative dress code as a way of avoiding unwanted attention from men. It plain does not work. And it’s making me and other women responsible for how men behave. I have experienced catcalling by men in public wearing full winter gear: gloves, hat, coat, boots-no skin showing whatsoever except for my face. So don’t tell me to watch what signals I’m sending. If women’s dress could change men’s behavior, no woman wearing a burqa would ever be raped or assaulted-but we all know that they are, no matter what they do. Its time men started asking themselves what signals they are sending. I’ve had it with being held responsible for the undisciplined behavior of men. I will not take responsibility for their reactions to me.

The vast majority of men can walk around without a shirt on without fear of female violence acted out towards them. But if I have the audacity to wear a low-cut shirt or a tube-top, I’m the bad girl who deserves to be raped and harassed? This is crap. Men are responsible for their nasty, threatening, hateful behavior towards women, not me and my outfit that I have every right to wear.

I have one question for harassing men: What is it about women’s breasts and bodies that make you incapable of acting like a decent human being?

– LS

Location: Denver, CO

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

Share

Assault in Nantes

By

These are two stories, but they occurred in the same city — Nantes, France, in the Pays de la Loire province.

Story 1– I was waiting for a tram in the middle of a sunny afternoon in April. I planned to take the tram from Commerce (the center of town) to Petits Ports-Facultes, where my French university was located. As I waited for the tram, a man came up to me and rubbed his hands and arms all over my breasts. At first shocked, I started screaming and he ran away. There were easily 100+ onlookers who did nothing. It was terrible.

Story 2– Also in Nantes, I was taking the evening bus circuit from town (Commerce) to my host family’s home (near Montbazon). A strange man had followed my friends and I after dinner, but I wasn’t worried — it was only around 8pm and there’s no way he could be THAT harmful, right? He followed me onto the bus, and partway through the ride home I noticed that he was masturbating, on the bus, and staring at me with frightening and disturbing desire. Every time I moved as if I were getting off the bus, he would stand, and I knew I would be followed if I decided to stop. He moved to sit behind me, and, while he reached to touch my hair, I immediately moved to the front to sit behind the driver. I missed my stop and soon, the masturbating pervert and I were the only people on the bus. Fortunately, as the stop cycled back, a Nantes transport police officer boarded the bus. I told him what was happening, and he was dismissive. “See if he gets off first. If so, you’re fine. If not, we’ll arrest him back in the center of town.” The officer did nothing — not even talk to the man. Eventually, the man ‘finished’ — staring at me all the while– and got off the bus. I finally passed by my stop, got off the bus, and vomited on the side of the road.

– anonymous

Location: Nantes, France, in the Pays de la Loire province

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

Share

Police harassers lead to teens’ suicides

By

How terrible! Two teenage sisters in Madhya Pradesh (India) committed suicide after two police officers harassed and assaulted them in public and then at the girls’ house.

“The girls say they complained against the two men, following which the constables were suspended, but then the two constables started to go to the girl’s home and harassing them.”

Apparently they didn’t feel they could count on the law enforcement system and took matters into their own hands to stop the harassment 🙁

Not too long ago, a teenager in Bangladesh committed suicide after experiencing ceaseless harassment for a year in public places. Her suicide helped lead to stricter enforcement of an anti-street harassment law. Will India follow suit? That could be a silver lining in this tragic story.

Share

Harassment is a health hazard

By

I’m with my partner visiting his grandparents in a very rural area of Virginia. This morning when I was running, men in a white truck felt the need to whistle a few times at my retreating figure as I turned off the road they were driving on. I was wearing a bright orange, oversized t-shirt from a race and blue running shorts, I was dripping in sweat in the southern heat and humidity. In short, I was the picture of stunning beauty so I bear them no ill will for their uncontrollable need to harass me while I was on what was otherwise a peaceful run.

Sike.

I have every right to go for a run without being harassed. That includes whistling, honking, sexual comments, and stalking. Twice in my life I stopped running outside for a while because I was getting harassed so much each time I went running and that was exhausting. Additionally, I’ve had the most vulgar comments made to me on my runs and I’ve been followed by men twice while running (= very scary).

I am not alone. In an informal survey for my forthcoming book, I found that one in four women exercise inside on at least a weekly or monthly basis because of actual or feared interactions with strangers in public, meaning because of street harassment by men or their fear of being attacked.

Since mentioning this fact in an Oregonian op-ed, I’ve done a few interviews in the last two weeks specifically on exercising and harassment, because this reality is striking a nerve.

In response to the AOL article I posted on my Stop Street Harassment Facebook group, one woman wrote, “So sad and so true. My boyfriend suggested I could save money by running outside instead of using the gym. I replied, ‘I can’t. I’ve got big tits.’

Imagine how many more women would exercise if they could do so outside safely and without harassment  since running outside offers a lot more flexibility and affordability compared to exercising at a gym. And we know that exercise is something we all need to be healthy. So, men harassing women is a health hazard. Seriously, think about it.

Anyway, I want to know, do you get harassed while exercising? If so, what impact has it had on your life? How do you deal with it? Do you have any suggestions?

Share