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“Some guy said he would let me fart in his mouth and hold it in until I told him to let it out”

November 10, 2010 By Contributor

I’m glad I found this site. I feel more in control knowing there are actions I can take instead of feeling angry and helpless.

A few days prior, this was my story.

When stepping off the trolley, before my foot even hit the pavement, “Bitch nice glasses” was hollered at me. I was caught off guard and didn’t say anything, but am sure I made an angry, uncomfortable face.

When he didn’t get the response he was looking for he attempted to demand my attention by yelling, “Anyone ever do this to you?” and licked in between his fingers, motioning that he was going down on a woman. I hate that gesture, when has that ever been sexy? It’s gross and infuriates me. I flicked him off, told him he was rude and to f* off. Then he calls me a cunt cause I wasn’t excited about it. I apologized to a mother and child for swearing in front of them and the dude started at it again.

I was so angry, I called him an ignorant pig, shook my textbook at him and said I should beat him with it. He then dropped his pants and smacked his bare ass as he walked away. It made me so mad I cried in the bus stop. It happens so fast. I’m glad he left when he did.

His intention was to get a rise out of me and he was successful. The only thing worse than that feeling, is knowing the other person is getting away with it and will do it again. I’m glad to now know strategies to detour that behavior.

This isn’t the first time. I’ve been followed for blocks, crossed the street only for them to cross with me. I’ve been told my tattoo on my chest is “begging for his head to be shoved between my tits.”

“Does the carpet match the drapes?” & “Can I get your number?” are common introduction sentences.

I’ve been told all the dirty things someone would want to do to me while in a gas station. Some guy said he would let me fart in his mouth and hold it in until I told him to let it out. I didn’t even know people did that. Another guy asked me, “What I could do with 9 inches.”

Seriously? That is not something you ask/tell a stranger. It is disrespectful, disgusting and made me feel 100% uncomfortable.

I don’t dress provocatively, I rarely wear makeup. I am a 5’9″ nerd. Not someone “begging for it” (sarcasm, an outfit does not justify harassment). People would say I am nice. I’m not one to yell fuck you at a bus stop, but there I was doing it.

For someone to make another human being feel this uncomfortable and unsafe, only because they are different, is immoral.

– Anonymous

Location: Cleveland, OH

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: disrespectful behavior, sexism, sexual harassment, street harassment

Weekly Round Up: November 7, 2010

November 7, 2010 By HKearl

Story Submissions Recap:

I accept street harassment submissions from anywhere in the world. Share your story!

  • Stop Street Harassment Blog: new stories from people in New York City and two in California
  • HollaBack DC!: 5 new stories
  • HollaBack LDN: 2 new stories
  • HollaBack NYC: 4 new stories
  • HollaBack San Jose: 1 new story

In the News, On the Blogs:

    Protesters, Image via BBC
  • CNN, “Why is sexual harassment in Egypt so rampant?“
  • BBC, “Bangladesh ‘Eve Teasing’ protest draws students“
  • MSNBC, “NYC considers lewd behavior ban“
  • The Carolinian, “Street harassment and catcalling an unnoticed problem ingrained in society“
  • Times & Transcript, “On-street harassment is a form of bullying“
  • The Daily Campus (UConn), “Editorial: Anti-street assault education beneficial“
  • Global Tolerance, “I am tole-ranting about … street harassment“
  • Columbia Spectator, “Stop the catcalls“
  • HollaBack DC!, “When street harassment leads to murder“
  • F to the third power, “The Start of a New New York: Street Harassment Must End“
  • Feministing, “RightRides Needs Your Support“
  • The Sangfroid, “Stop Street Harassment“
  • Dash of Reality, “Street harassment is NOT a rite of passage“

Announcements:

  • Are you in Egypt? Use HarassMap to report your street harassers
  • Have an iPhone? Download a new iPhone app that lets you report street harassers!
  • Take a street harassment survey for a Toronto-based group working to address this problem with an iPhone app
  • Via Change.org: Tell New York City Council to Fund Anti-Street Harassment Advocacy & Services
  • View/read testimonies from most of the people who testified last week at the first-ever city council hearing on street harassment in NYC

Upcoming Events:

  • Nov. 8: RightRides fundraiser – whiskey tasting, 6 p.m., NYC
  • Nov. 8: Everyday Sexism talk at Oxford Gender Equity Festival (Vicky Simister from the UK Anti-Street Harassment Campaign is speaking), 7 p.m., Oxford, UK
  • Nov. 9: Rally to take rape seriously, noon, NYC
  • Nov. 11: I’m co-presenting with SAFER about making campuses safer for everyone at the National Women’s Studies Association Conference, 10:45 a.m., Denver, CO
  • Nov. 13: Stop Street Harassment book signing at the National Women’s Studies Association Conference, 12:15 p.m., Denver, CO,
  • Nov. 14: Intro to self defense with Defend Yourself (ages 16+), 1:30 p.m., Bethesda, MD

10 Tweets from the Week:

  • harassmap G’Morning! if u experienced sexual harassment today on your way to work, school or university, report the incident on http://harassmap.org/
  • ricafrankel ‘Catcall’ I just got: “You’re pretty. You Jewish? Your nose is huuuuge.”
  • meredithnudo As much as I love living in @downtownhouston, there is a SERIOUS #streetharassment problem here. It makes running errands uncomfortable.
  • lorriehearts On my way home from leaf-stomping. Some street harassment from the bin men threatened to ruin my walk, but no, let http://twitpic.com/341jd2
  • BLANK_NOISE hurray to #tokyo #actionheroes !!! http://twitpic.com/33u6bg
  • fleuredeflorida Excited I got through to the @kaneshow during their catcall segment so I could give a shoutout to @hollabackdc
  • MONTAakaQUEEN Never can understand… when walking down the street why do men harass women???
  • BatfishLD Apparently it’s “catcall a white girl on Mission” day. In other news, there’s a lot of new graffiti in the hood!
  • newsaboutwomen: Anti-street harassment campaign HollaBack reaches Israel – http://ow.ly/1rn6w1 // (follow them, @hollaback_il)
  • RedFeminist @Mmmeg The majority do not have good intentions. Women’s bodies are not public property. Men need to realize that we won’t put up with it.
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Filed Under: Events, hollaback, News stories, street harassment Tagged With: eve teasing, HarassMap, hollaback, sexual harassment, street harassment

Now Available: HarassMap and iPhone App

November 7, 2010 By HKearl

For more than two years, activists in Egypt have been working on HarassMap, a tool that allows people to report their harassers via SMS messaging and email. Those reports are included on a map that will be used for prevention and policy making to end street harassment. It’s mentioned in my book and when I met with NYC activists Emily May (HollaBack) and Oraia Reid (RightRides) in June 2009 as part of my book research and mentioned it, they were inspired to start working on an iPhone app.

I’m happy to report that both HarassMap and the iPhone App are working and available!

Rebecca Chiao, one of the team leads of HarassMap, just sent this message via the HarassMap Facebook group:

“Thanks to everyone who tried out HarassMap! We need your feedback on how to make it better and more effective. We’re still working on messages, design, and adding more interactive sections on the site (a forum for women to share experiences and tips, self defense videos, etc.) [If you’re in Egypt], please make a report for every time you’re harassed. You don’t have to give your name, just tell us a little about what happened and where. Then send us your feedback on how easy it was to use, or what you would change.

Thanks to you, our tech partners, probono partners, volunteers and supporters for helping us to test the site. Make a report here.”

And from Emily May on the HollaBack website:

“Finally! We are so proud to announce that the iPhone app is in stores.  This app was funded by 356 donors, and we are so, so grateful for their support.  Download it today, here! The Droid app will be coming out within the next few days, stay tuned!”

Read the great NYTimes article that just came out about it.

So if you can and if they are applicable to you, please start using these methods to report your harassers!

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Filed Under: hollaback Tagged With: HarassMap, hollaback, iphone app, street harassment

“Lift those legs soldier. What sexy legs you have.”

November 6, 2010 By Contributor

[Editor’s Note: While most stories on this blog are from women, occasionally I post ones from men. One of my high school cross country and track teammates – who is a big supporter of my street harassment work – sent me this story via email this week and he gave me permission to post it.  No one should have to be subjected to or have to put up with unwanted sexualized comments and harassment from strangers!]

I was running in my neighborhood today around 5:30; I got stuck at a stop light for about 30 seconds and there was an old lady with what appeared to be her daughter at the light. As I was approaching the light, I hear her say: “Raise those legs soldier.” Then I stop at the light and try to move as far away from her as possible at the corner, that’s when she says, “You have sexy legs. those are wonderful thighs.” As soon as the light turns, I take off.  On my way home, she is about a block from where I saw her, just sitting blocking the entire sidewalk.  I run into the street about 200 feet before her. As I pass, once again “Lift those legs soldier. what sexy legs you have.”

I felt uncomfortable; as I always do when I get harassed while running.  I’ve had whistles from guys and girls–typically the guys are latino construction workers in their cars and the girls are high school age in their cars–I assume most of the whistling is a mocking whistle and never appreciate it.

When I was stopped at the light, I tried to avoid eye-contact and keep some distance.  Just thinking in my mind when is this light going to turn.  On the way back, I was frustrated to see her again–as soon as I saw her from over 100 yards away I was already dreading running by her again.

In the past I have changed my running habits to try to avoid this as much as possible and even sometimes discouraged from running at all.  This sucks that this was on one of my major running loops–from new apartment there isn’t too much to change; I already modified the course to avoid the liquor store and two medicinal marijuana dispensaries where the homeless have harassed me.

– JR

Location: West Los Angeles, CA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Filed Under: Stories, street harassment Tagged With: raise those legs soldier, sexual harassment, sexy legs, street harassment

In Bangladesh, students protest eve teasing, police talk strategy

November 5, 2010 By HKearl

I just came across two articles about eve teasing in Bangladesh:

Protesters, Image via BBC

1. School and college students held a rally in Dhaka to protest against ‘eve teasing’ and the sexual harassment of women in the latest in a series of protests following a number of suicides and killings involving women subjected to bullying and harassment. The protesters are urging the Bangladesh government to take proper steps to curb sexual harassment and provide better protection for women.

Via BBC News:

“Unable to bear the insults, some women have committed suicide. Activists say stalking and sexual harassment has led to the deaths of more than 24 people, most of them women, since the beginning of this year. In recent days, some who have spoken out against sexual harassment have been murdered. A 50-year-old woman died after a motorcycle was driven over her when she protested against the bullying of her daughter last week. A college teacher who spoke out against such bullying was also murdered.”

Outrageous!

“Following the suicides and killings, the High Court has asked the government to take measures to prevent stalking. Officials in the district of Tangail are now offering karate training to all female school and college students. Learning martial arts makes girls better able to protect themselves, they say.”

And will there also be trainings for boys and men to not harass girls and women?!

2. In the Daily Star, police talk about their strategies for dealing with eve teasing. Inspector General of Police (IGP) Hassan Mahmood Khandker requested the media to term ”eve teasing” as an offence so that harassers are held accountable. He said he is also considering assigning personnel to whom victims of harassment can send SMS for help.

Because there tends to be more harassment around festivals like Eid-ul-Azha, over 50 thousand additional law enforcers will span the country as of November 11.”A three-stage security arrangement will be designed to make sure the safety of people before, after, and on the Eid day,” Khandker said.

It is sad that it took suicides for people will take this issue seriously in Bangladesh (UNICEF even has programs there now, earlier this year the first jail sentences were given to harassers, and the government declared an Eve Teasing Protection Day). And now, in many ways, Bangladesh is doing more than many countries – including the US – to deal with this issue. Will it take suicides in the US before stakeholders pay attention? Apparently murders aren’t enough.

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Filed Under: News stories Tagged With: bangladesh, eve teasing, sexual harassment, street harassment

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