Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“We just have learned to ignore it”

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I recently visited my friend in NYC, with one other girlfriend and it really made me remember how small a town I really live in. I was only there from Friday night to Sunday morning and my friends I were cat-called and leered at every single day.

Friday night, we went out to a club and I happened to have my wallet/phone stolen. As I was running around the club, in tears, asking if anyone had seen my things, a man stopped me twice, grabbing me, hugging me, kissing me on the cheek, to tell me how cute I was, and that if I came home with him, we would definitely find my wallet. 1. Do I look that drunk, that I can be tricked into going home with you and getting raped, just because you’re telling me that you’ll find my things? 2. I’m literally CRYING in a club with all my money, ID and phone lost. Is this really the time or place?? 3. I don’t even know you. Why are you touching me? Unfortunately, I’m a very shy reserved person and I just tried to sort of play along until I could shrug him off, while politely declining.

Saturday, we went out during the day and were catcalled by workmen and random guys on the street. I don’t even remember what exactly was said because we just have learned to ignore it. But that night, we went out for dinner in Little Italy and were catcalled at by many waiters/hosts of the restaurants, shouting “Bella!” and following up a with a comment about how there were three of them and three of us… While I didn’t find those particular comments all that insulting, it still surprised me that even while at work, these men think they can say something to women they don’t know.

That night, after leaving a Halloween party to walk to a convenience store around 2 or 3 am, a red car pulled up to my friend and I. There were two guys, shouting at us, trying to get us to talk to them. They kept saying “Hey, Boo!…Come on, Boo… We have beer, you want a beeer?? Booo!” They followed us half a block, keeping pace with us at the curb, until we got to an intersection with a cop/security guard standing there, when they decided to speed away while saying something about fucking our pussies. The cop asked if we were okay and I was glad he was there to scare them off, even if it didn’t shut them up.

But of course, on our way back to the party to round up our other friend, the same car is coming back on our side of the street. We tried to ignore them so they wouldn’t notice us, but of course they did and they pulled right back up to the curb and followed us another block, shouting “Boo…Booo…Come on, Booo!” We just tried to ignore them. I want to say something to them, but in so many situations, it gets worse if you engage with them.

How can someone really not understand that following a person down the street while shouting at them in the middle of the night IS FUCKING CREEPY AND WEIRD??? And offering us a single beer just adds insult to injury. Give me a break.

-“It’s Not Flattering, It’s Creepy”

Location: New York City

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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A widow because of a street harasser

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Trigger Warning – Definitely a Sad Post 🙁

Street harassment sometimes ends in murder, a pointless end to a life.  The cases I’ve read about have been similar – the harasser kills the woman he was harassing. It is the worst way a harassment incident can end.

Yesterday on the HollaBack DC! site, I read about another harassment incident that ended in murder. This time the person killed was the husband of the woman experiencing the harassment. From HollaBack DC!

Yesterday we received this email:

Hey Holla Back DC, I’m an Arlington resident originally from New Orleans.  A friend of a friend was murdered in the french quarter over the weekend because some a-hole was yelling at his wife.  She ignored and the harasser didn’t like that.

The comments by Tigers119 tell the story of what happened beyond the shoddy TP reporting. I don’t expect y’all or any other hollaback outlet to publish anything, but I needed to share this story with people who actually care and WON’T try to blame the widow.

Even though this happened in NOLA, we recently spent time in New Orleans and wanted to share this with the DC community. Our hearts go out to the widow. Catcalling should NEVER lead to murder.

Here is the report from nola.com:

A 23-year-old Metairie man died from stab wounds Sunday after getting into an argument with a motorist in the French Quarter.

Coroner’s Office investigator John Gagliano identified the victim as Ryan Lekosky.

The incident occurred at the intersection of Dauphine and Iberville Streets, shortly after 3:30 a.m. when Lekosky and his wife were walking on the sidewalk when a man drove alongside them and allegedly began yelling inappropriate comments about Lekosky’s wife, New Orleans police said.

Lekosky’s wife confronted the man and the two began fighting. Lekosky was stabbed several times when he tried to break up the struggle, police said.

Continue reading.

This is truly devastating. And of course there will be people who will say she shouldn’t have responded, she aggravated the situation; it’s her fault her husband is dead. But it IS NOT. The harasser/murderer is at fault for starting the whole thing and then escalating it. If we always walk silently by when men harass us, if we learn to avoid public places where it occurs, then the harassers win. We have the right to be in public and it is our right to confront our harassers, if we wish, to tell them so.

My heart goes out to her, a widow because of a street harasser.

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Good looking guy and disgusting words

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Last week when I was walking my dog I got street harassed by 2 guys in their early 20’s.  They looked me up and down and up and down as they passed me but they didn’t start saying anything until we had already passed each other.

Then the one guy said, “I could lick your Ass all night long, that Ass is so fine.”

I didn’t know what to do because they had already passed and so I tried to ignore it.  Then because I didn’t say anything he screamed out, “Did you hear me?”

Then he screamed, “I could just Fuck your ASS all night long.”

He was screaming things to me all the way down the street until I couldn’t make out what he was saying, but he was still saying stuff.  He looked like a normal, good-looking nice guy, but he was so disgusting with his words.  It really did shake me up.

I came home and called my boyfriend.  I told him what happened and he said to just keep my mace in my hands if it happens again.  He thought I did everything right by not saying anything since they had already passed.  I was so angry, I felt so degraded and humiliated!  I am so much older than they are and it is so disrespectful to speak to me that way!  It is total daylight on a Sunday and I am walking my dog, right by a Fire Station.  I know I can always run over to the Firefighters though and that is why I walk my dog where I do.

– TWS

Location: Sunset Blvd, Pacific Palisades, CA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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Weekly Round Up: October 31, 2010

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Story Submissions Recap:

I accept street harassment submissions from anywhere in the world. Share your story!

In the News, On the Blogs:

Announcements:

10 Tweets from the Week:

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