correspondents Archives | Page 22 of 88

USA: Honor Killings

March 16, 2016 By Correspondent

Rupande Mehta, New Jersey, USA SSH Blog Correspondent

Recently I watched HBO’s premiere of the Oscar-winning documentary A Girl in the River: The Price of Forgiveness about honor killings in Pakistan.

Being born in India and having extremely controlling parents, I have seen a lot. Most attitudes I have encountered in my life are far from progressive. They demand women not leave the house, not have friends or not to be social in any way. Otherwise, you are punished and subjected to the worse kind of emotional assault and physical pain.

“I gave you life, I can take it away as well,” is a threat I am very familiar with. These same threats I heard last night on the movie. The main character Saba’s father proudly proclaimed them when she married against his will. Then in an outrage, he and an uncle shot Saba and threw her in the river leaving her to die there alone. But she survived.

I left India 15 years ago, and I wish more had changed than has. Although Saba’s case happened in Pakistan, make no mistake that events like this transpire in other parts of the world. They have for decades and will continue to happen every day in the life of innocent women and girls whose only crime is to have a male friend.

In the Name of Honor

I was 13 or maybe 14 and had a boyfriend – my first love, the love of my life. We met seldom so this particular evening I was very excited to see him. We were walking on the street – not holding hands, not in any physical proximity – only walking and talking like two friends would.

Suddenly, I looked sideways and saw my father’s car racing towards me at full speed. I froze not knowing what to do. My father knocked me over with his white Maruti van. I lay on the street with my knee badly bruised and bleeding while he got out of the car and started beating my boyfriend. Luckily, I wasn’t seriously hurt but he almost went to the same extent Saba’s father did.

Why did he do that? Well, he was trying to protect his honor. It was not acceptable to him that I talked to a male friend in the presence of “society”. What would they think of him, letting him run his women loose like that? Mind you, the entire incident, for him, had nothing to do with what he did to me and how he hurt me but how I went against his will and hurt his feelings. That day, I stopped believing that my father could protect me. I lost all faith in him and his love for me. And of course, I never got over it. I don’t think I ever will.

My crime was talking to someone who did not belong to my gender and could have the propensity to take away my father’s “honor.” And for my father, protecting his honor came above everything else. Even above that daughter he claims, even today, to love more than anyone else.

Saba’s story made me want to bawl as I saw my own experiences and those of thousands of others who are yet to come face to face with their fathers’ wrath. Our society is a dim, hopeless place that not only denies women basic freedom, including to roam safely in public spaces, but also honors those fathers who commit such horrendous acts against their daughters. No one speaks a word, no one stands with us. We are left with our trauma to deal with the ugly scars these “parents” throw on us, and to hear that we do not deserve to be loved because we did not abide by their rules.

Saba was forced to forgive those who almost killed her. She did not want to but she had to. Why? Because our society does not give women rights to make up their own mind either. She is the only one who knows what she went through in that river and how she made it out and sought help. Yet, no one asked her what she wanted to do. They all wanted sulah (reconciliation) and for Saba to realize that her father is the sole bread winner.

What’s Honor Killing?

For those who are unfamiliar with it, honor killings are acts of vengeance, usually murder, committed by male members against female members who are held to have brought dishonor upon the family. According to the International Honor Based Violence Research Center, 5,000 honor killings take place throughout the world, with 1,000 each occurring in India and Pakistan alone.

This happens because we believe women are men’s property and daughters have to abide by every rule in the codebook. If not, they are tarnishing the family’s honor and deserve to die.

Our attitude that women are objects, not humans, is wretched. We kill them if they do not listen to us, pour acid on their bodies if they reject us, harass them on the streets if they pass us and then blame them if they complain or fight against us.

Last night, after watching Saba I felt hopeless – the fight to changing minds and outlooks is so long; some days it makes me not want to get out of bed. But despite the harrowing battle that lies ahead, the future of our daughters depends on it. I hope Saba has a daughter as she wishes and I hope that little girl can fight her way through building a beautiful life and living the way she wants to – the same wish I have for my little girl.

Rupande grew up in Mumbai, India, and now resides in the U.S. She has an MBA and is currently working towards her MPA, looking to specialize in Non Profit Management. You can find her writing on her blog at Rupande-mehta.tumblr.com or follow her on Twitter @rupandemehta.

USA: Five Ways People are Fighting Street Harassment

February 28, 2016 By Correspondent

Julia Tofan, Connecticut, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

Street harassment is terrifying. It can start with catcalling and stalking, and can quickly escalate to threats and violence if a victim shows anything but submission and compliance. It can be so pervasive in daily life that it’s expected. It’s not a question of whether it will happen, but when and where. It’s an issue people around the world share and fight against. Here’s a list of recent initiatives and how they’re working.

Social Media: Street harassment campaigns and organizations quickly immerse social media with hashtags and headlines. Social media has the power to educate the masses, show victims of street harassment that they are supported, and change the status quo of accepted societal behavior, like catcalling. One example is Brazil’s Carnival Campaign, advocating for #CarnivalSemAssedio, or #CarnivalWithoutHarassment. Social media doesn’t offer victims legal protection or end street harassment, but it makes a difference.
Bringing Attention in the Moment: Who would’ve thought punk music and confetti could be used to fight street harassment? That’s exactly what women in Mexico City, one of the most dangerous places in the world for women according to the UN, are doing. The ladies of Las Hijas de Violencia, or Daughters of Violence, shoot confetti and play loud punk after an incident of street harassment. It’s dangerous and can escalate the situation if the street harasser feels attacked or shamed, but the women report that it helps them move on and take control of the situation.
Scooter Gangs: Women in Cairo are frequently victims of street harassment, but scooters are providing women with a safer means of transportation than public transportation or walking. Girls on Wheels has recruited more than 300 girls, taught many girls how to scooter, and gained the support of girls’ families. It doesn’t get to the root of street harassment and stop perpetrators, but it empowers girls and improves safety, and that’s a step forward.
Women only Transportation: Public transportation is a common location of street harassment, and it’s also a necessity for getting to and from different places. Women-only transportation implies all men are dangerous, places the onus on women to stay safe, and isn’t perfectly enforced, which allows males to occasionally enter the buses with the intention to harass women. Also, it isn’t always available. However, it can temporarily improve safety conditions for women traveling using public transportation, as Mexico is trying to accomplish with a new program.
Apps: Street harassment is vastly under reported. Whether it’s fear, lack of support and trust, or shame, victims oftentimes don’t report street harassment incidents. Apps like Ec Shlire, an app designed by a Kosovo woman, are fighting that by giving women a community specifically for reporting street harassment and putting the incident on the map. It’s bringing the attention to light and giving victims a sense of solidarity, but it doesn’t report incidents to the police and enable police involvement.

People have had controversial reactions to the various programs and campaigns fighting street harassment. Every program and campaign has drawbacks, but something is being done, and along with the drawbacks, there are benefits. Whether programs and campaigns blame victims, solve the root of the problem, take street harassment seriously, and keep women safe are important questions to keep on asking, but recognizing the positive impact different projects are showing is also vital.

Julia is a student in a rural town in Connecticut. She writes for Givology, a nonprofit dedicated to improving access to education, and Dreams That Could Be, an organization telling the stories of students facing great challenges but persevering in their education. Read her blog posts on Givology and Dreams That Could Be and follow her on Twitter @Julia_Tofan!

USA: Maya Young and Transgender Homicides

February 25, 2016 By Correspondent

Kathleen Moyer, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

Maya Young, a 25-year-old transgender woman of color, was stabbed to death in the Frankford section of Philadelphia late Saturday night. According to police, she was found lying in the street with multiple stab wounds to her chest and neck before being rushed to a nearby hospital, where she died 20 minutes later.

No arrests have been made in the case yet. The city is offering a $20,000 reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of her killer. People with tips can call 215-686-3334.

While investigators are still searching for a motive, the brutal murder of Young seems to reflect the murders of Keisha Jenkins and London Chanel – two transgender women of who were killed in Philadelphia last year. These murders are part of a pattern of increased transgender homicides across the United States. Statistics indicate that transgender homicide is becoming an epidemic, especially among women of color like Young, Jenkins, and Chanel.

In 2015, 23 transgender people were killed – the highest annual total since advocacy groups began keeping a record of transgender murder rates. Nineteen of those victims were transgender women of color. According to a 2013 report on LGBT hate violence by the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs, transgender women are the victims of 72% of LGBT homicides, and 89% of LGBT homicide victims are people of color.

Statistics also show that violence against transgender people is not limited to physical violence; over half of transgender individuals experience verbal street harassment. A report by SAVE Dade, an LGBT advocacy group, showed that 53% of transgender people surveyed experienced harassment and disrespect in public areas. These numbers show that transgender violence is a serious problem and it’s progressively getting worse.

We have to take a stand now more than ever. The motive in the case of Maya Young may still be unclear, but it is clear that this pattern of transgender violence is not coincidental. As the LGBT community and allies mourn the loss of Young, we need to remind society that no one’s gender is up for debate. An individual is whatever he/she identifies as and it’s no one’s place to object to that, because nobody knows how that individual thinks and feels.

No one deserves to be put through hell, verbally, mentally, or physically for simply being who they are. The transgender community deserves better; it’s our responsibility, as a society, to ensure that they receive better and to bring those who harm transgender individuals to justice. For Maya. For Keisha. For London. For every transgender person who has been victimized in the past, and those who will be victimized throughout this year.

Kathleen is a full-time graduate student studying professional and business communication. She plans initiatives to increase awareness of sexual assault, domestic violence, and other related issues through her university’s anti-sexual violence group, Explorers Against Sexual Violence.

USA: Believing Kesha and Other Survivors

February 24, 2016 By Correspondent

Rupande Mehta, New Jersey, USA SSH Blog Correspondent

If there was any doubt how hard it is to prove rape, assault or any other violence against women just look at Kesha. The singer filed a lawsuit against her producer, Dr. Luke, who she claims “sexually, physically, verbally, and emotionally abused Ms. Sebert to the point where Ms. Sebert nearly lost her life.”

Unfortunately despite 10 years of rigorous abuse, the court dismissed her complaint ruling she has to continue to work with her abuser and the record company (Sony) who allowed and tolerated the abuse. (Don’t kid me that they did not know).

Am I surprised? Nope. Saddened? Incredibly.

I am sad because there is yet another victim of abuse who has to live through the travesties of the legal system who has sided against her and with the guys in the fancy suits who claim to have spent a lot of money on her career and rightfully deserve their share of returns. Heartbroken that yet again a corporation is put ahead of human lives that endure incredible pain and anguish to have to continue to survive with such a dismal reality. Distraught that despite her tribulation, Kesha failed to get the approval of the justice system and has to continue working with the man who vehemently abused her.

Such injustice, though, happens every day, everywhere. Every day an abuser walks free and the victim is put through the ringer. Every day a victim sobs uncontrollably as the judge delivers a verdict that makes her worst nightmares come true. Every day another victim repeats her story millions of times and no one believes her.

Courts need evidence and when victims fail to provide any proof, they are deemed erratic. When victims change their narrative they are described unreliable or unworthy of stating the truth. But tell me, after you’ve been raped are you thinking about gathering evidence? Are you thinking about being so glib that your narrative never changes? Or are you dealing with the trauma that someone just handed down to you? Ask those who have been raped and they will tell you they never get their story straight the first time because their memory is not linear and comes back only in patches.

So what can we do?

Well for once, the justice system needs to realize the trauma resulting from rape and other assaults and consider it. In Kesha’s case, the judge saw it simply as a contract dispute and ruled in favor of Sony but the truth is more than that. Sony’s lawyers must have done an exceptional job of ruining Kesha’s reputation in the court room and making her sound like a vindictive woman out for blood. Her previous testimony denying that Dr. Luke never put a hand on her, I am sure, was wittingly used against her. For many this may raise the question whether Kesha was lying then or now. Unfortunately only Kesha knows the answer but having been through trauma and assault, I will stand by her side.

Kesha lost a big battle with the Supreme Court. Thankfully she had the means to do so and garner incredible support afterwards from the public who are demanding Sony #FreeKesha.

Celebrities like Taylor Swift are contributing money so Sony would let Kesha out of her contract. Although my heart goes out to her and her suffering, I cannot help but wonder how many don’t have what Kesha does. How many women, on a daily basis, are unable to access services or support with their story untold or not believed?

How many of us are harassed on a daily basis be at work or home or even in the streets? I often look at women passing me and wonder what, if any, trauma do they suffer from and why? Who called them unjustified names and put labels on them that forced them to have weight issues or eating disorders or anger or rage?

Why do the courts not look past this and understand that the issues of the psyche stem from the issues of harassment and if someone is experiencing them it is likely due to a deeper, more profound reason?

We live in a society where those who tell their story are not believed. Is it a surprise then that most of these cases go unreported? And how do you think cases like Kesha’s impact those abused women? The Supreme Court may have ruled for Sony but in the process it did an immense disservice to millions of women out there who were contemplating speaking up.

USA: Shine Squad Confronts Violence in Activist Organizations

February 22, 2016 By Correspondent

LB Klein, Georgia, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

Gender-based violence is currently ingrained in our society, and only true culture change will eradicate it. While we want to believe that organizations and groups working to end this violence and advance social justice are immune, abuse happens in these spaces as well. What happens when though when spaces that have a mission to end violence are actually perpetuating it? What happens when the perpetrators are our colleagues, our fellow activists, our leaders?

Enter Shine Squad, a tumblr space by and for folks who have experienced harassment and abuse while they’re working within these movements. As Shine Squad’s first video mentions, we often expect that abuse will be “overt and straight out of Mad Men.” However abusers, particularly those who know the language and values of our movement-building spaces, use more subversive strategies. Shine Squad’s tumblr is full of stories from women and trans folks whose colleagues and supervisors used these spaces against them in overt and covert ways.

It can be challenging to “rationalize [perpetrators’] work in the movement with their abusive behavior.” Because it is so disarming and surreal to experience violence in these spaces that are supposed to be safe, survivors can feel “on an island.” This cognitive dissonance leads to isolation, silencing, and self-blame that shifts the focus from what the perpetrator did wrong to blaming the survivor.

The painful consequences of violence in these spaces can be overwhelming to face alone, so Shine Squad provides a platform for “story sharing, expressing needs, and action taking.” Through their online form, anyone can submit anonymous stories of the harms they have experienced in activist communities and social justice organizations. These reports encompass a wide range of behaviors from subtle workplace discrimination that was “gross but you can’t quite put your finger on it” to intimidation to financial threats to digital harassment to sexual assault and abuse.

Shine Squad is not stopping with story sharing, however, they are also providing connections. They’re introducing survivors to others who have also survived abuse, even connecting those who might name the same perpetrator. They’re offering emotional support, connections with journalists, legal referrals, and opportunities for activist and organizing opportunities around addressing the “systematic problems of discrimination, harassment, and abuse in social justice movements.” They also give opportunities for members to help others through hosting conversations, sharing skills including legal and HR, or offering opportunities to advance the public conversation.

By building networks and sharing stories, Shine Squad is addressing a valuable need. This activist space provides a powerful reminder that for our movements to be successful, we must start at home, by fostering organizational environments that support survivors, prevent violence, and hold perpetrators accountable.

LB is an Atlanta-based researcher, advocate, and educator dedicated to ending gender-based violence, supporting survivors, and advancing social justice. You can follow her on twitter @LB_Klein.

« Previous Page