Ngwentah Berlyne Ngwalem, Buea, Cameroon, SSH Blog Correspondent

My younger sister recently told me that she never really understood what harassment meant. Not that she doesn’t have to deal with it on a daily basis, but that she had not found a name before to describe the repulsive rude behavior committed by men towards her. She found it hard articulating her feelings as she sadly said to me:

“I mean sometimes you just want to be left alone but these men don’t get it. Is it harassment when you get in a taxi and a guy starts narrating the story of his life, even though you show no interest? They immediately jump into chatting you up, and you don’t respond, but they keep talking and try to teach you how you should act back? I feel really irritated by what these guys do.”

I listened and felt how difficult it was for her to explain what happens to her and a lot of other women on a daily basis. I told her that it was harassment.

As these things are now being talked about, a lot of girls are realizing that what happens to them — what hurts them so much, but they couldn’t find words to explain it — is actually called “harassment.”

To many men, toying with women’s lives is like a game, or like a remote controller in their hands and they can press any button and expect women to dance according to their tune. The acceptance of harassment in the culture encourages men to see women as play things.

One of the biggest causes of harassment I’ve seen is the permission society gives to men to be the primary and sole initiators of “chatting”. Playing the main role in chatting gives men the power to be in control. When street harassers want you to act nice you have to be subservient whether you approve of what they do or not. Many men have been groomed to focus on what they want and not what women want.

Recently, in response to one of my Facebook posts teaching people about the difference between a compliment and harassment, one of my friends whom I viewed as someone who is very accepting and open to compliments complained to me after reading my posts that she felt insulted about the way guys on the streets treat her.

This made me think differently. I started asking myself if sometimes these women I deem as being open to compliments smile at these aggressive random men out of fear or due to the fact that they are tired of being harassed and have no other choice than to act like they love what these guys say to them?

She had talked about how groups of guys jumped into insulting her after being in her face, demanding that she accept their harassment as complimentary words about her beauty. I could feel in her writing how insecure and insulted she felt.

Talking about harassment is a way for the Cameroonian population to know what harassment is and its impact on women’s peace and security in our society. Talking about street harassment unceasingly acts as a motivator for other women to speak out, to share their stories and frustration at the fact that nothing, or very little, is being done by the Cameroonian society and law enforcement to stop this demeaning disturbing madness.

I have heard cries from young women saying street harassment needs to be addressed. One of my former classmates Melvis Loh, an English Language master’s student at the University of Buea, explains what happens to certain women when they do not act according to the demands of men in her community in Sandpit, Buea;

“Some guys even go as far as trashing up girls who turn down their advances to chat up or date them”

Melvis recounted painfully how her younger sister was continuously molested psychologically and severely beaten by a young guy who could not stand the fact that this young lady turned down his continuous approach to be his lover. He had made it clear to her that he would not take no for an answer. If not for the help of passersby, this girl would have probably have lost her life. She had to be pulled out of the grips of this young man who felt insulted being turned down by this young lady.

It has to take persistence, severe brutality or even death for law enforcement to respond to acts of harassment with will and desire to protect the women involved. If you come from a family where there is not much status, education or wealth, that family might find themselves negotiating with harassers to no avail to make sure the harassed is safe.

Young boys are being taught how to chat up a woman, but how many of them are taught to chat up a woman or compliment them the right way? I strongly think if our society creates a balance in the milieu of who gets to ask who out, propose to whom, how and when, there might be a reduction in female street and sexual harassment.

Berlyne is a Cameroonian-based women’s human rights activist, passionate and determined to put an end to social injustice of any kind. You can find her on twitter @Luvequalityrule and Facebook.

Angie Evans, Washington, DC, SSH Blog Correspondent

You can’t emotionally prepare yourself for sexual harassment or assault. It’s 11:15 a.m. and I am sitting on the rooftop of a guesthouse in Udaipur, India. My teeth are covered in purple chalk. From my fingertips to my elbow there is a splash of bright pink dye, later I will have to accept that my arm is going to be fuchsia for weeks. In the street I can hear kids laughing as they toss colors into the air. Two Grandfathers sit on a stoop below, chuckling with each other. I slump into a chair and breath for the first time in hours. Two other women sit with me. One had her shirt nearly ripped off by a group of teenagers and the other had to slap someone in the street for trying to run his hand across her chest. I’d had chalk smeared into my eyes by a man while his friend came up from behind me and grabbed by breasts.

Although Holi, the Hindu festival of colors, tops the bucket list for tourists all over the world, it isn’t the same experience for for all genders. The playful celebration that was traditionally held with family and friends relaxes many social norms between men and women, allowing some to use it as an excuse for groping, fondling, and grabbing women in the streets. In a culture so deeply rooted in spiritual practice and values, what is bubbling beneath the surface?

Reports of sexual assault in India have increased over the years, resulting in a continuous decline in the foreign tourism sector. In 2013, female travelers decreased by over a third in just 3 months. Hotel operators, travel agents, and others in the industry were undone by such a steep decline.  The international community was enraged by story after story of sexual assault. The first female chief justice was assigned to the the Delhi high court, immediately taking notice of some negative gender dynamics. An urgency prompted governmental investigations in national, state, and local Indian agencies.

Change is hard in a country with 1.2 billion people, but it’s an inevitable part of growth. A number of new policy measures have made female residents and travelers more safe in India. So what lessons can we learn from the policy changes and movement building in India around sexual harassment and assault?

1. Female Participation

When the Indian state of Gugarat decided to make a strong statement on sexual harassment, they set up a council to educate, mediate, and set policy framework within the high court. They made sure to prescribe exactly what kind of position in the system each member should have, and set a minimum quota for female participants. This isn’t the only governing body that set up a review board or fixed the number on the board, but it set a strong precedence for local communities.

2. Police Consent and Government Engagement

It is hard to know the true impact of sexual harassment in communities because it continues to be underreported for many reasons. In Delhi, they recognized that many victims felt uncomfortable calling the police so they set up a separate hotline just for sexual harassment and assault victims. They also started an on-going series of free self defense courses to female residents. In Ahmedabad, the police posted billboards in high traffic areas, offering a free ride home to any women who feel unsafe. The court systems are undeniably slow, and until this is changed, law enforcement officials need to play a strong role.

3. Education

India is slowly working on implementing one of their new laws, which protects women from workplace sexual harassment. A key part of that has become educating staff. This is important because the onus cannot be on women to stop the harassment, it must be on how men treat their female counterparts. Like all sexual harassment interventions in India, it must be about the perpetrator and not the victim in order to see fundamental change.

4. Make Streets Safe

Delhi is known worldwide for it’s confusing streets, lack of addresses, and chaotic traffic. Following the UN Safe Cities Global Initiative, the municipal government set up an audit for urban planning, identifying key ways that they could improve the safety of their city. Things as simple as street lights and better designed public restrooms can vastly improve safety records in a city. There are a number of Indian cities reviewing this checklist to find areas of improvement.

5. Support Survivors

Setting up sexual harassment and assault hotlines is the first step in a community response. Some organizations in India are making this the focus of their intervention because for many victims, it is a silent daily battle. In equipping these women with an emotional outlet, as well as the tools to respond to future experiences, you build an intervention that empowers each woman.

Organizations all over India are continuing to bring up problems with sexual harassment and assault, and will continue to fight for systemic and societal changes, because they haven’t reached a point where the laws represent the real values of the country. For a nation to truly grow and thrive, the equality of women must be central. And with women and children representing 70% of the population, this isn’t just the right thing to do in India, it’s good economic sense.

Angie is a community organizer and social worker. Last year she quit her job to travel around the world with her husband. They have just returned and are continuing to write about travel and adventure at http://whereisseangie.com