I was in a crowded train, in Chicago, 16 years old, 4th of July. A creepy tall guy came & pressed his penis against my butt. I was so young & naïve, & had no idea what to do. I felt so ashamed & scared & dirty. The CRAZY thing is many years have passed & a part of me still feels ashamed & dirty typing this story out. Isn’t that crazy!?! Why should I carry any shame for this? It wasn’t me who did something criminal, it was him. I wish I could say this was my only experience w/street harassment, but it certainly wasn’t. It all kind of blurs into one big swirl of angry memories….

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

In a nutshell: education. Start young – both parents & schools should be involved. Teach boys that it is NOT ok to talk to women certain kinds of ways, or touch them in anyway that is not welcome. Nor is it ok to purposely act aggressively (leering, staring, barking, hooting, hollering, intimidation, etc.) w/the goal of making her feel scared or uncomfortable. It is not a “compliment”, it’s WRONG! For girls teach them that street harassment does happen, it’s quite pervasive & the unfortunate reality is they will most likely have to deal w/it at some point. Teach them it is NOT their fault & how to deal with it when it occurs. So many women are paralyzed w/fear. Something as simple as carrying a loud whistle & then shouting with your hands up in the stop sign may be enough to help stop something, call attn. to it, or at the least make you feel better. Yes, it comes down to education & preparedness. Half my problem with my own young experience is that it never occurred to me that it could happen, so when it did I wasn’t prepared & couldn’t cope well. It’s not a pleasant subject, but it is the reality of the world we live in.

– Anonymous

Location: Chicago, IL

 

Every day I deal with men harassing me on the street. And I ignore them often making myself feel bad. But no more of this! I am going to be assertive and get a piece of power back. I will not be ignored.

– Kris Ed

Location: Harlem, NY

Today a truck drove so close to me I could feel the wind of passenger side mirror blow past my shoulder. Close call: you know and I know you did that on purpose. No cars were on the opposite side of the road and you were driving fast.

It’s not the first time a guy in a truck drove as close to me as he could without hitting me. On my country road walks, here in Montana, I could count a more than a few times this has happened.

Walking with traffic, my son and I were a half a block to Main Street walking on the shoulder. The cars usually pull in at an angle here but there where no parked cars today where we were, in front of this business, it’s Sunday.

So,I shot him the finger and sure enough he was watching (probably laughing and raging) and quickly backed up to us. “Why are you walking in the middle of the road”

We weren’t. Why are you trying to hit us? You can see were on the shoulder”

“Shouldn’t be on the road, Bitch”

“Are you fucking kidding Me?” as I looked at his girlfriend in the passengers seat.

“You’re A f***ing whore”

“Is he gonna beat you when you get home?” I asked her.

Then he gave a big honkering spit at me, spraying his girlfriend.

I did not move. I felt it was all in slow motion.

I turned and walked to the back of the truck and started memorizing his plate number and he drove away.

The worst part of it all, the WORST part is when the cop on the phone I was reporting the Street Harassment to said I should not have given him the finger.

I had a feeling this would be turned on me because I am a woman.

It’s been six hours and twenty minutes since The Police officer I reported this incident to said he was going to look into it and get back to me.

I will not let this go again.

UPDATE:

He gets a disorderly conduct warning for calling me a whore – not for almost running us over, not intimidation, not for Spitting on me. I get a disorderly conduct warning for giving him the finger and was told I should walk on a sidewalk if possible. The officer said there was no third party as witness so that’s all he could do.

– Amy E

Location: Hamilton, Montana

While cycling in early evening a few weeks ago, a man (probably in his 30s, shaved head, light brown skin tone – appears to live or at least park his car on the estate at the southwest end of Jubilee Street – avoid this area if you’re female!) in a silver car passed far too closely, rolled down his window, and yelled ‘I’m going to f**** you and then kill you’.

I unfortunately ran into him again tonight. I was waiting at the red light to cross Commercial Road and continue on Jubilee Street. There were no cars around when I reached the intersection. He pulled up behind me and began revving his engine and driving forward, forcing me into a busy intersection and then leaning on his horn to intimidate me, honking away despite the fact that the light was still red and I had nowhere I could go. He passed me when the light turned and swerved at me as he did, eventually turning in to the same estate parking lot he turned in to the previous time. This is a street I frequently have to cycle down – I may have to find a new route.

As a female cyclist in London, harassment is the norm. It tends to take a darker turn in Tower Hamlets though, with threats of rape and murder replacing the usual ‘lucky saddle’. Seeing this man twice has been exceptionally scary. I got his registration plate and reported him to the police after the first incident but was told they could not help on such matters.

– Anonymous

Location: 2 Jubilee Street, London, e1, England

EDITOR’S NOTE: I talked with two anti-violence groups in London and they said police SHOULD take this kind of report seriously. “Depending on how she reported initially (either by calling 999 or 101) I’d recommend her reporting another way – i.e. going into the police station or calling 101 if she’d called 999, and making sure the report is taken by getting a CAD number…This may help set up a quicker response by police if this happens again with same perp (as she can then quote the CAD number).”

There are too many incidents to recount. Whistling and ogling are the most common by far.

I have developed I great non-verbal response to harassment. If someone says anything and/or stares at me and my body, I stare at their body, avoiding eye contact (which only encourages them), and focus on their gut (which, nine times out of ten, is an expansive target). I stare long and hard so that I know they see me looking at their body. Then I make a disgusted face and look away as I pass by.

It’s a non-confrontational technique, but I find most men look away from me after getting a small dose of the flip side of their own behavior.

– Anonymous