Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

“I don’t have to smile for you”

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I was walking to return a video in my neighborhood, and a block ahead I saw a man loitering on the corner. I knew even before I approached him that he was going to say something to me. Sure enough, he told me to smile, it’s a beautiful day. I ignored him and he continued calling after me to smile and not be so mean. After I returned the video I almost went around the block to come back a different way, but I didn’t want to allow him that much impact on me so I returned the same way, but luckily he was gone. I was so annoyed that I searched for a better response and found this site.

If I had it to do over again, I would stop and say, “I don’t have to smile for you. I’m going down the street and when I come back, if you’re still here, you can say ‘Good afternoon,’ or nothing at all.”

– RS

Location: Ballard neighborhood, Seattle, WA

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“I refuse to change myself, when it is the harassers who need to change”

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My name is Heather, and I am a 21 year old female from Florida. I have experienced street harassment everyday since I was a young teenager. I moved to Miami Beach when I was 18, and immediately noticed an increase in the amount of harassment I received.

I remember a terrifying experience I had right after I moved. It was probably around 9 or 10 p.m. at night, and I had had an argument with my boyfriend. I stepped out of the apartment to take a walk around the block. A man pulled up along side me, and asked why I looked sad. I told him no reason and hoped he would leave. He continued to drive next to me, and told me that if I wanted, he could buy me some alcohol, and we could hang out. I declined and turned the corner. The man continued to follow me, and at this point I started to run. The store was in sight, and I knew I needed to get inside. As I got inside the store the man stopped and stared at me through the glass doors. He stayed there for a couple minutes and then drove off. That is when the danger of street harassment became real to me. All I had to protect myself was pepper spray, which would have been useless against a pick up truck.

When I vent my frustrations about constantly being harassed, people usually tell me that I shouldn’t walk alone, and I should try putting more clothes on. I have already changed my routes so I’m always on a busy street. I always look at the ground when people pass me on the sidewalk so they won’t try to talk to me.

I’m tired of being whistled at like a dog, and being called a bitch when I don’t reciprocate. I refuse to change myself, when it is the harassers who need to change. I had given up on my dream that I would one day be respected, until I found this website. I sincerely thank you.

– Heather

Location: Everywhere, particularly Miami, FL

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Passenger stops air marshall from taking upskirt photos

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Federal air marshal Adam J. Bartsch is accused of using his cell phone to take pictures underneath women’s dresses as they boarded a flight Thursday morning at Nashville International Airport. He was on official duty and he was thwarted by a fellow passenger!

Via WSMV:

Passenger Rey Collazo “was sitting next to Bartsch when he noticed the alleged actions of the federal air marshal.

“He did it at least three or four times,” Collazo said. “After that, that’s when I looked at him. I says, ‘Man, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.'”

Collazo alerted the flight crew, and in the midst of the confrontation, grabbed Bartsch’s cell phone to keep him from deleting the pictures.

“He was trying to combat me, but I grabbed the phone and crimped on it. Twisted his wrists,” Collazo said.

Bartsch escaped and soon ran from the plane, right into police.

The flight was delayed by about an hour as officers investigated, and Bartsch was then booked into the Metro Jail downtown on a charge of disorderly conduct.

The man who confronted him seems to just wonder how long it had been happening.

“I have a wife. I have a daughter, and I have a granddaughter. And I have zero tolerance for disrespect to any lady,” Collazo said.

“Taking pictures of ladies without them even knowing that you’re doing that? That’s bad,” Collazo said. “I mean, he’s a law enforcement officer. C’mon!”

Bartsch posted bond Thursday evening and remains out of jail. He lives in Maryland but will return to Nashville to face his disorderly conduct charge next month.”

Way to go, Rey! Thanks for speaking out and stopping harassment.

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UK: Our Reality Isn’t Your Fantasy

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By: Tilly Grove, London, UK, SSH Correspondent

I was nervous enough about having to use the underpass in the early evening wearing my new dress, so when the men walking past decided to wolf-whistle at me, I was a little shaken. My immediate response in these circumstances is to contact someone, to make me feel less vulnerable; I chose to message a close male friend. Instead of the sympathy I had been hoping for, he replied, wistfully: “I’ve never been whistled at.”

It is a sentiment I have heard often from straight men; no matter how distressed street harassment evidently makes women, they’re positive that the inverse is something that they’d quite like. They like the idea that a woman might come up to them and grab their backside, or make comments that implied (or outright stated) sexual attraction. Some of them might even like the idea of another man doing these things to them. They think that when a stranger catcalls, wolf-whistles, or gropes you, they are merely revealing their attraction to you, and that this would be an incredibly flattering thing to happen.

It may be that this thinking is so flawed through lack of experience, but regardless, it is hardly surprising that street harassment is so prevalent when men feel this way. Even if these men would never themselves holler at women on the street or touch them without consent, the fact that they think the act is inherently complimentary means that they help perpetuate the behaviour. It means they’re less likely to challenge it.

But they are basing their opinion on what street harassment is like from a fantasy. Many men really can only dream of what it’s like. The fact is, it’s not someone coming up to you every now and then to tell you that you look good, or to ask you out. It’s not someone hot pinching your butt in a flirty way, or making their sexual attraction to you known. It is strange men who have no reason other than their evident belief of their entitlement over women to think that you want to hear their opinions or intentions, shouting explicit things at you from across the road or pawing at you without warning or invitation, every time you leave the house. We are sick of men objectifying us whenever we walk by, sick of men intimidating us whenever we go outside. It will never be a compliment in this context.

So, if men actually want to compliment women they see on the street, they should politely get their attention and talk to them. They should keep their hands to themselves, not shout, and not make inappropriate comments or noises. These things are not complimentary; they are disrespectful, and when they come from men who we are acutely aware could easily stalk or overpower us, they become terrifying. We know that the vast majority of men perpetrating street harassment are not doing it to flatter, because it is these methods which they employ most of all. We need men as a whole to acknowledge this, whether they choose to partake in it or not, if we have any hope of seeing an end to it.

Tilly is studying for a BA in War Studies at King’s College London, where she is writing her dissertation on the effect that perceptions of gender have on the roles which women adopt in conflict. You can follow her on Tumblr and Twitter, @tillyjean_.

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“Annoying immature pricks file”

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I was with my son, aged 7 at the time, during this summer and we were at a local beauty spot only a few minutes walk from where we live. My son was down a small embankment next to a stream and I was standing at the top on the pathway watching him play and talking to him. There was a man, woman and small child sitting on a bench about 200 yards away to my right. I heard people talking to my left and glanced up. I registered 3 young guys aged about 25ish walking down the towards me with cans of beer in their hands. I registered them but truly this was all the attention my brain gave them and I turned back to my son to hear one of them say in a kinda sing-song voice…and I’m quoting, “Oh look they’re drinking and there’s children about, won’t stop me putting my dick in her mouth!” to which his mates started laughing.

I retorted by saying to him “Obviously no-one allows you to put your dick anywhere mate if you have to say that to random strangers.”

His mates then started the predictable “Woohoo.” My son by this point starting looking worried and asking me what they were saying as he could see I looked angry but I managed to calm down and the guys walked past. This was around 2 p.m. in the afternoon and we had already altered our walk because there was another group of young guys drinking at a particular spot, no doubt their friends. I felt angry, humiliated and vulnerable.

Do you have any suggestions for dealing with harassers and/or ending street harassment in general?

To be honest, at the time it happened and immediately thereafter, if I had had a baseball bat I would have set about the guy. That is how angry and outraged I was at the time, however, I’m not a violent person in any away and I basically just filed the incident away in my ‘annoying immature pricks’ file. Definitely something that could be addressed in schools more as I know our schools in Scotland promote as part of their curriculum, kids growing and becoming more responsible citizens. With regard to dealing with the here and now, it should fall under the umbrella of something like breach of the peace or even harassment or stalking law. Teaching kids how to act socially also begins at home and I’ll certainly be bringing my son up accordingly.

– Anne Clifford

Location: The Saltings, Old Kilpatrick, West Dunbartonshire, 60, Scotland

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