Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Street Respect: Cheering A Runner On

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Yesterday I ran 6.5 miles and near the end of my run, I felt really tired and light-headed because it was very hot and humid out. Near the start of the last mile of my run, there was a very steep hill and when I got near the hill, I was so tired, I thought about walking it. When I reached the hill, however, I came upon a group of walkers who were impressed that I was running. They cheered me on as I went up the hill and two of them even clapped for me. Despite feeling tired from the weather, they put a smile on my face and I made it up the hill and back home without thinking about stopping again.

After dealing with so much harassment on my runs, it was nice to have people be supportive and cheer for me, especially when I really needed it!

-Holly

Location: Reston, VA

This is part of the series “Street Respect. “Street respect” is the term for respectful, polite, and consensual interactions that happen between strangers in public spaces. It’s the opposite of “street harassment.” Share your street respect story and show the kind of interactions you’d like to have in public in place of street harassment.

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USA: Street Harassment is an Important Problem

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By Britnae Purdy, SSH Correspondent

I have a thing for coincidences. The very same day that I accepted this role as a correspondent for SSH, my local newspaper posted a Facebook status asking for commentary from women who have experienced street harassment in the Fredericksburg, VA, area, to be used for an upcoming story. I was excited – until I read the quickly-accumulating comments below the status. The most-repeated sentiment was, “Don’t we have more important things to worry about than catcalling?” closely followed by “Why can’t women stop being so uptight and just take it as a compliment?”

It upset me, especially because equal amounts of these comments were coming from women as from men. I admit to being an overly sensitive person at times, and these comments bothered me, to the point where I briefly considered re-thinking this whole feminist-writing thing and staying in bed all day instead –I was having a bad hair day already, after all (thank you, Virginia humidity). But I couldn’t help thinking it through a little.

Start. Don’t we have more important to things to worry about than cat-calling? Let’s see – violent crime, corrupt governance, prime time television…Yes, it would appear that we, the collective, faceless “we” that make up our sense of modern society, do indeed have bigger things to worry about.

But let me ask you this – do I have bigger things to worry about than my own personal safety and well-being? No. I do not. As an individual being, keeping myself safe is my own top priority, and that is what is threatened when I am yelled at, followed by, or touched by strangers in a public place.

Expand. As an active member of my community, I am similarly concerned with the safety and well-being of my friends, family members, coworkers, and the super-friendly Starbucks barista who made my much-needed latte this morning. And as a contributing (financially and otherwise) member of my community, I expect my safety, health, and concerns to be just as respected and adequately addressed of those of my non-harassed male counterparts.

As for “taking it as a compliment” and “not being so uptight?” If you, as a self-assured, intelligent, confident woman can take a whistle or sexually-explicit comment and use it as fuel to brighten your day, then all the more power to you. I cannot. There are times when a “compliment” is actually the indicator of more aggressive behavior to come, and I need to be scared in order to stay safe – if I act a little too “uptight” about a whistle, it is because I am remembering that time I was followed home at night.

Regardless of threat level, a lewd, unwelcome comment is indicative of a patriarchal society that grants men verbal, visual, and physical access to my body with or without my consent. I fear that saying anything you want about a woman’s body with no consequences is only a few steps away from feeling like you can do whatever you want with a woman’s body. A society that does not equally value the safety of its women cannot be trusted to ensure the safety of any of its members that are not white, privileged, heterosexual males. Cue violent crime. Cue corruption and lack of morals. Cue media that perpetuates the image of women as weak, sexualized commodities meant for consumption.

Conclusion. We don’t have bigger problems because the mentality behind street harassment provides the basis for most of society’s “bigger” problems. I cannot just take it as a compliment because that would mean accepting a second-class version of myself, and even on the worst of bad hair days, that is not something I can bring myself to do.

Britnae is a graduate student at George Mason University, in Virginia, where she is pursuing a Master of Arts in Global Affairs with a specialization in Security and Conflict Studies. She also writes for First Peoples Worldwide and you can read more of her writing on their blog and follow her on Twitter.

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“I felt SICK”

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I was buying groceries & an older man, apparently German, in back of me in the line started laughing & making rude sounds, apparently because I have a large butt. He began whispering to the male cashier, and then they both laughed at me. If it had just been the old German guy, it wouldn’t have been so distressing. But when the harasser gets another male to join in, it is much worse, at least for me. I felt SICK. I felt like I was just a target, not a person who deserves respect.

It was the second time I’d been harassed by a customer/cashier combination — and the previous time my complaint to the (male) manager weren’t taken seriously (astonished they didn’t fire the clerk), so I didn’t complain. (I’d complain if I knew there was a woman in charge.)

– Grace

Location: Fred Meyer Store, Portland, Oregon

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“If I were a guy, I’d probably receive a high-five.”

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I was at the Staples at 19th and L during my lunch break, shopping for a few supplies. As I was browsing their storage clipboards, some guy stood next to me and reached over me to grab something. No “excuse me” or anything. “You’re excused,” I said. He doesn’t respond.

Moments later, he’s standing behind me, saying nothing. I cannot stand it when people hover and wait instead of saying, “Excuse me.” I’ve had so many negative interactions in public that I’m always guarded and on edge about people being too close to me and hovering, so I said, “If you want me to move, all you need to do is say ‘excuse me.’ You hovering behind me is not going to make me move.”

The guy simply stares at me, then seconds later says, “I was about to say ‘excuse me’. You could be a little nicer about it.” Then under his breath, he says, “You bitch.” Oh, the irony of him asking me to be nicer but him calling me a gendered slur.

As much as I wanted to tell the guy to “f*** off!” I didn’t. I said, “I can’t be nice to jerks like you.” He went elsewhere in the store and I went about my business, but my mood was dampened from that interaction. It also didn’t help that when I returned to work, some man asking for change on the street said, “Your dreads are gorgeous!”, when I just wanted to be in my headspace and be left alone. Instead of responding in kind to his unasked for compliment, I just stared at him and kept on moving.

The guy at Staples didn’t fit the stereotype of the crude harasser. This guy was polished and wearing a very sharp and expensive-looking suit. Though I have the most experiences with cruder harassers who hang out on the street corner, this experience was a reminder that a harasser can look like anyone.

This incident was also a reminder that no matter what I do to defend my movement and space in public, I’m always being told that I’m “rude,” “curt,” and “abrupt” in my interactions with people on the street. I’m “defensive” and I have an “attitude.” I’m always being told that I need to change my behavior so I can get along with people better, but rarely does anyone come to my aid and say, “They need to show you more respect.”

People expect me to be a smiling and docile little girl, but that’s not who I am. If I were a guy and had the same interaction with the gentleman who called me a “bitch” at Staples, no one would expect me to soften my approach. If I were a guy, I’d probably receive a high-five.

No matter how many negative interactions I have with people when I’m out in public, I’m not going to change my ways. As I said, being cute and demure is not my way. I’m not changing for anyone.

– Anonymous

Location: Staples at 19th and L, Washington, DC

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“It gave me hope!”

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An interesting experience I had today- a fundraiser shouted at me today after he attempted to get me to stop and I carried on walking- it was a pretty innocent comment, nothing sexual, but it made me feel intimidated and stressed.

It bothered me so much that when I got back home I went straight back out to confront the guy- he turned out to be a very nice guy who was very apologetic- he hadn’t realised how intimidating his behaviour was and was glad that I had gone back to speak to him. Being the older brother of 4 sisters he was keen to express his abhorrence of men that harass women.

I was pleasantly surprised at his attitude- he was happy to listen and learn. It gave me hope!

– Anonymous

Location: Harrogate, UK

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