LB Klein, Georgia, USA, SSH Blog Correspondent

**Trigger Warning** for themes of gender-based violence, nonconsensual touching, adults asking children to commit violent acts

Near the end of a new Italian viral video dubbed “Slap Her: Children’s Reactions,” a man off camera asks boys to slap a girl. They refuse. Then comes the tagline “In the kids’ world, women don’t get hit.”

In theory, I would be ecstatic to see a PSA on this topic reach 12.5 million viewers, particularly one that engages young people, especially boys, in the conversation.  But “Slap Her” is not that video, it only masquerades as a PSA about gender-based violence. In reality, it doesn’t actually address the critical global public health problem of gender-based violence. Instead, it trivializes the issue while it perpetuates the exact cultural norms that perpetuate violence.

I watched this video and felt emotional, not because I was moved by the message of “Slap Her,” but because I was deeply uncomfortable. Here are three reasons why:

1. Martina is depicted as a prop, not a person.

The video begins on a light note with the boys answering questions about their names, their ages, what they want to be when they grow up, and why they want to pursue those careers.  There is significant time dedicated to helping us get to know the boys and who they hope to become.   It’s impossible not to like them and feel a connection.

Romantic music swells, and–enter Martina.  Martina isn’t asked any questions, and we are not given exposition to see her as a real person. She is literally voiceless.  We hear about her only through the boys’ descriptions of her appearance. The one adjective used to describe her (repeatedly) is “pretty.”  We don’t find out about Martina’s goals for the future.  While the boys are full characters in the story, Martina is just a prop.

The off-camera male voice asks the boys to talk about what they like about Martina, to caress her, and to make funny faces at her. In the video’s climax, they are asked to “slap her, hard.”  The boys are depicted as having the agency to obey or disobey the voice, but what about Martina’s agency?  She is not asked for her consent. In fact, she is completely silent and looks nervous throughout. While the video sends a message that even young boys know that hitting a girl is wrong, it also depicts girls as lacking in bodily autonomy.  What if this so-called “social experiment” had gone the way of Milgram, and the boys had obeyed the authority figure and hit Martina? Does anyone ask her how she feels?

2. Gender-based violence is oversimplified to a slap.

This video reduces gender-based violence to a slap. In reality, abusers would rarely, if ever, (knowingly) slap a woman on camera.  Abusers are also rarely strangers.  I am NOT relieved that the boys don’t hit Martina on cue. I would be truly shocked if one of them did.

Gender-based violence involves power and control and abuse that is not only physical but emotional, psychological, economic, and spiritual.  Physical violence can certainly be a part of abuse, but it is used as one tactic to gain control and dominance.  Abuse typically escalates over time and includes dominance, humiliation, isolation, threats, intimidation, and denial.  A small percentage of men hit their partners, but they are allowed to get away with it because of the exact culture of male dominance that “Slap Her” perpetuates.

The boys say they don’t slap Martina because men shouldn’t hit (pretty) girls, and they’re “real men.”  The moral of the video seems to be that even young boys know it’s not okay to hit women, thus shaming any adult who would think gender-based violence is acceptable.  By framing the boys’ responses in this way, the video uses the exact gender stereotypes that perpetuate violence to speak out against it. Violence is reduced to a slap, and the boys are not called to question their power.  These gender stereotypes limit children of all genders and can be, quite literally, deadly for women and trans people.

The same logic that keeps these boys from slapping Martina props up male entitlement.  Street harassment is so often dismissed because women and girls should “take it as a compliment.” This video endorses Martina as a pretty thing for the boys to desire, admire, and even touch, as long as they don’t hit her on command.  That is not revolutionary. That’s patriarchy.

3. It’s not a PSA; it’s Clickbait.

I asked an Italian friend to help me wade through information about this site and video, as I don’t speak Italian beyond what I’ve learned visiting the restroom at Macaroni Grill.  It appeared so abruptly that I needed to know its origins.

“Slap Her” is not a PSA created in partnership with survivors or violence prevention organizations. Fanpage.it is a news site focused on generating clickbait. Luca Iavatore, who has been identified as the off-screen voice, is a video journalist/cultural media reporter for Fanpage.it.

There is no trigger warning. There are no resources listed for survivors, abusers, or folks who are triggered by its content. There are no links to websites to learn more about the issue. There is no call to action.  There is not context or discussion of who debriefed with the boys or Martina. In fact, there is no other information on Fanpage.it about gender-based violence. This video is generating profit for Fanpage.it, and there is no information on their site about proceeds going to benefit gender-based violence advocacy or prevention causes.  The intentions of folks at Fanpage.it might be excellent.

However, without further information, I can’t help but think “Slap Her” is a publicity stunt. The children in this video, and the viewers’ emotions, are being exploited, and Fanpage.it is pocketing advertising dollars.  It would be a truly brilliant marketing ploy, if it weren’t completely unethical. The creators of this video owe its viewers, the children who were filmed, and survivors an apology.

One small edit could have taken this video from harmful to thought-provoking. The video ends, seemingly for comic relief, with one of the boys asking the off-camera man “Can I kiss her on the cheek or on the lips?”  One line of additional dialogue could have completely changed the message to one of liberation. “Slap Her” could have simply added: “Why don’t you ask Martina?” That one line could have taken the boys’, and the audience’s, commitment to ending violence one step further by acknowledging Martina’s bodily autonomy and humanity.  Without this addition, “Slap Her” is a missed opportunity at best and a harmful perpetuation of status quo at worst.

LB is an Atlanta-based advocate and educator dedicated to ending gender-based violence, supporting survivors, and advancing social justice.  You can follow her on twitter @LB_Klein.