Stop Street Harassment

Making Public Spaces Safe and Welcoming

Tennesseans throw things at women and young girls (Beware!)

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The absolute worst area for harassment that I’ve ever lived in is Hendersonville, Tennessee. In this supposedly “safe”, “down-home”, “good-old-boys” environment, I experienced the terror of having to dodge objects thrown at me from cars and incidents of indecent exposure in addition to the ubiquitous catcalls.

As we all know, it can be intimidating to someone walking, or on a bicycle, to be honked at or run down by a driver who “just wants to talk” or offers a “ride.” But on several occasions, either the driver of the car or his passenger actually threw things at me while I was walking or biking alongside the road. They threw stuff like:

– Bottles, cans, trash, fast-food bags, cups full of soda.
– Lit firecrackers (Southern boys seem especially fond of their cherry bombs and M-80s).
– And in one terrifying incident in a suburban neighborhood off Indian Lake Road, I had a broken homemade skateboard (seriously, what was this guy doing with that thing in his car?!?!) thrown at me, along with a tide of insults. This one made contact. It hurt like crazy but I managed to make it home. When I told my parents, they advised me to not go into that area (and it was NOT a bad neighborhood!), and my mother acted like I’d done something to deserve it.

I also had a horse at one point and my friends and I liked to ride on less-traveled roads. You might think people would take heed to be more careful, but it had the opposite effect. Men would drive by slowly, honking their horns and yelling, trying to scare the animals – a dangerous activity since a startled horse is unpredictable. Fortunately mine wasn’t too easily spooked by that kind of stuff.

I was 14 years old.

And that’s only in addition to having to hear every 3 minutes or so how nice your ass is or how fat it is, depending on the personal taste of whomever’s yelling at you. You get this from about age 9 on up till you’re 80 or so, I reckon (Nope, I’m not there yet.) And calling the police? Don’t make me laugh. Officers hate responding to this kind of crap because it’s not like anybody ACTUALLY grabbed you and threw you in his trunk or anything, so what should THEY do about it?

Women are not exempt. A neighbor boy my age also experienced this kind of threatening behavior, although I’m sure they didn’t tell him he had nice tits… he just had stuff thrown at him. And for those of you who might think it’s a “compliment”, things like that are often said to women in the same kind of threatening tone that you’d typically reserve for your arch enemy.

I retaliated by packing a bag and getting OUT of that hellhole literally the SECOND I turned 18 and could do so legally, and I’ve never gone back. I got myself a scholarship, got an education, got a good job and make it a point to only date men who treat other people- not just women but ALL human beings- with respect.

To this day I’ll never set foot in Hendersonville, Tennessee. Those people think they’re better than everyone else. Maybe I haven’t learned my lesson, but I still walk to work… what can I say, I like the exercise. 🙂

– anonymous

Location: Hendersonville, TN

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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“Fight for what we believe in”

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I think it’s so important to hear from women around the world regarding street harassment, so I’m cross-posting this piece from a woman in Nepal via Booksie:

“A woman walks down the street and then a man she does not know makes an obscene noise or gesture. Either she retorts or ignores him and walks on. Is the story same to the events that you have to go through? What do you do to fight the street harassment or you just let it go. I am writing to all the readers whoever relates to me and to all the people who have once a while made an attempt teasing a girl or making a passerby awkward. I don’t deny that even guys can be the victim of street harassment but because I am a girl I can exactly tell you what it feels like.

Some of the men (as some men are ones causing street harassment) do not realize their actions feel like harassment to women. For those I have something to say. Treat women with dignity and respect. Ask yourself, “How will my mother, sister, spouse feel if treated in the same way?” If you have a good reason talking to any unknown women, address her with smile or decent language. Do not address her with whistle, honk or kissy noises. The way a woman is dressed does not show if she wants to be commented on. She may be dressed up for special events or specific person. Never follow a woman without a good reason like: she dropped a wallet and you are trying to return. If you see others doing it, refuse to join and discourage others from doing so. At a suitable time, raise the issue about public harassment with your friends and explain why it is inappropriate to treat people that way.

There is no any ‘best’ way to response the harasser in every circumstance. But at least we can put effort Making Street safer for us. Stand for yourself and speak up. Be instant; don’t regret later for doing nothing. If any security person is around you, seek for the help or ask to the people nearby, they might lend a hand. You should use a strong body language. Use statements not questions. Like, ‘do not touch me’ not ‘will you please leave me alone.’ Sometimes strong stare is stronger than the words, so it might help you. It’s obvious that we cannot find mirror image every time we walk on the streets but it is possible to fight for what we believe in. All I am trying to infer is that if someone has done harm to your dignity even in a small way, fight it back, and take a step.

Priyanka Pokhrel
Inhured International
Lalitpur, Kathmandu Nepal.”

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More than 45 minutes of stalking

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I was walking down the street in downtown Toronto, and a guy in front of me walking in the opposite direction stopped to oogle me and seemed to mouth something like “Wow” (I was wearing my headphones and walking very quickly, so I ignored it.) After 10 minutes of walking, I reached a bookstore and used their facilities on the second floor. Immediately after leaving the restroom, the same man who I encountered 10 minutes ago was outside and blocked my path, saying, “Wow, what’s your background?”

I got out of his way and said, “I have to go. Bye” (I’m usually not this polite, but I was just taken a back by his creepiness/stalking).

I spent another 20 minutes downtown, browsing in various stores, etc. Then I walked another 10 minutes to a nearby mall. I spent about 10 minutes in one store, I tried something on, then I purchased it. Then, as I was exiting that store, who do you think I found right outside? Creepy stalker guy.

I try to bolt away, he proceeds to run after me, trying to hand me his number. I yell to him, “NO! F*** OFF!” He then backs off. I walk home, but am paranoid that this creep may be following me still and find out where I live.

Oh yeah, and someone else harassed me on my way back home.

– anonymous

Location: downtown Toronto

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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“Can’t Even Drive With My Windows Open”

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I have shared multiple stories here now, each incident taking place in Massachusetts, either in or near Boston. Brockton, East Boston, Lexington, and now, Revere.

It was a fairly nice day when I was driving on the Lynn Way towards Boston, driver’s window open. I had my music on and wasn’t bothering anyone when an older looking black Honda drove up in the lane next to me. Three or four guys, probably teenagers or in their early twenties began to stuck to their heads out of their own windows and stare at me, and it was clear they wanted me to make eye contact with them. I denied them this, and instead rolled up all my windows and
continued to drive like nothing was happening.

Then, they began to stick their hands out of their windows and point at me, which had me starting to feel terrified. what the hell did that mean? Why were they pointing at me? Probably to get my attention, of course. I refused to bat an eyelash at them. They, however, refused to quit acting like idiots and didn’t stop until they finally turned off towards Point of Pines, Revere.

I know harassment is everywhere, but I’ve had too many stories in MA alone, so I urge all MA ladies to report their stories. Clearly the men here aren’t getting the message.

The boys were driving a Black Honda, MA plate number 6WE-590.

– anonymous

Location: Revere, MA

Share your street harassment story today and help raise awareness about the problem. Include your location and it will be added to the Street Harassment Map.

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“It’s payback time, boys” – street harassment game

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Last fall, a New York City graduate student* contacted me because she was creating a first person shooter game about street harassment. We chatted about street harassment and I hoped to include her work in my forthcoming book, but alas I could not include every activist I came across due to space constraints. I will include a profile of her in a new activists section of my website this summer.

Anyway, after a particularly annoying harassment experience, she was talking with a friend about street harassment and out of the conversation came the idea to use her programming strength to create a product she calls “definitely controversial but designed to be playful and silly and totally over the top!” In the game she uses real comments harassers have said to her and her friends and family. This week she let me know that her first person shooter game is done. Here’s her description:

” Ladies, are you sick and tired of catcalling, hollering, obnoxious one-liners and creepy street encounters? Tired of changing your route home to avoid uncomfortable situations?

IT’S PAYBACK TIME, BOYS…..

Tell your friends, co-workers, sisters, mothers and grandmothers.  This is the game you’ve all been waiting for…”

Hey Baby is a playful and provocative video game about street harassment. Through a 3D game and website, Hey Baby is designed to spark discussion about women’s experiences of public space. Play the game at www.heybabygame.com.

The Player encounters a series of creepy men who confront her with real comments as she navigates through the game world.  The Player can choose to shoot or to shower them with love.  Hey Baby is based on hundreds of real stories, collected from women throughout the world. Using an ironic mix of humor, violence and over-the-top graphics, this unsettling game encourages open access to public space.

My pal Brittany interviewed she and featured her game at Change.org’s site and in the latest issue of Bitch magazine, and here is a review of it on Sexy Videogameland and Salon.com, so I refer you to those articles for more info.

Thoughts?

*the game creator has asked me to delete her name because of the controversy the game is creating and how directly it is attached to her name

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