By: Allison Riley, SSH Correspondent

A male friend of mine posted this image on Tumblr—it’s a Game Boy Color device turned to the side. I responded and said that I take offense to this photo because of the phrase “that ass”. Whether or not we realize it consciously, placing this phrase on top of an object immediately makes us compare it to a woman; thus participating in objectification. One looks at the curved battery compartment of the Game Boy and instantly connects it to the curves of a woman’s hips. When people find images like this humorous, it shows that they are condoning behavior that is considered harassment whether they realize it or not.

A mutual friend of ours posted the following statuses on her Facebook the next day:

“To the stranger downtown: First of all, I’m not your “Honey”…Ew. Secondly, no I’m not going to holla at you just because you think I’m pretty.”

“To stranger #2 from downtown: WTF you have no right to sexually harass me with “I’d beat that” while looking me up and down. I’m a classy effing lady, not a dog meant for your sick amusement. #ugh #omgwhatisupwithtoday”

 I noticed that the male friend I mentioned “liked” both of these statuses. I also know that he takes pride in calling himself a “nice guy,” yet his Tumblr post contradicted that. So I decided to give him a call. I told him to take a second look at the Game Boy photo he posted and to imagine that our friend was in the photo instead. Then would it be funny if the caption was “that ass”?

He ended up deleting the photo by the end of that week.

Then the other night, I was conversing with another male friend about gender-neutral bathrooms. He asked me if I would feel comfortable showering next to a guy. I said no because he might harass me. He replied, “What about a lesbian woman? Would you feel comfortable showering with her?”

“I already have before,” I said.

“And you don’t mind if she’s checking you out?”

“Well I know for a fact that she’s not,” I said.

“What if you didn’t know she was lesbian? Are you automatically trusting her because she’s the same sex as you?”

Generally yes, I trust women in public spaces—but mainly because none of my experiences with them thus far have been harmful to me. Only my experiences with men have been harmful; hence we say street harassment is motivated by gender.

My friend proceeded to tell me about how he has been slapped on the butt and harassed by gay men before. He has also gotten harassed by women when out alone. “I’ve had girls come up to me and basically behave like a guy,” he said. He elaborated further and we agreed that behaving “like a guy” equates actions like slapping someone’s butt, catcalling, and other unwanted gestures.

Immediately I wondered, why doesn’t he share his experience? Why don’t more guys speak up about this topic? I asked him, and he said that he simply doesn’t feel like he can. Or if he does, it won’t do anything. In reality, we all know it’s quite the opposite. It does make a difference because it will educate other men.  Sharing experiences and opinions will add to the bits of information surfacing about street harassment and male socialization.

And if you ask me, true masculinity consists of taking on that positive, educational role.

When building male allies in fighting street harassment, it helps to find common ground. It helps put the seriousness of the topic into perspective. The guys with common sense will admit that they hate being harassed in public just as much as we do and hate to see us go through it.

I directed both of these guys to check out the Male Allies section of this website. On to the next!

Allison is a 2012 graduate of Metropolitan State University of Denver where she majored in Journalism with a minor in women’s studies. Follow Allison on Twitter at @a_wonderlandd.

By Sean Crosbie, SSH Correspondent

Street harassment often decreases a person’s willingness to go out or be seen in public spaces. I interviewed two friends about their experiences with catcalls, and their subsequent willingness to go out in public. The two friends had very different attitudes towards going out alone versus going out with others.  In order to protect the identities of the women, I have labeled each “Interviewee 1” and “Interviewee 2,” respectively.

Interviewee 1 was walking in a local nightlife area in Washington, D.C., waiting for her boyfriend when she was accosted by two men looking for their car. When she said she didn’t know where their car was, they kept engaging her, and one member of the pack attempted to hug her. Immediately following that incident, another man came up to her and asked her how she was doing. She didn’t say anything and he responded by yelling, “Don’t ignore me!”  Interviewee 1 told me: “…I was shaking and terrified…every man walking by had become a threat, and I felt trapped and alone since no passerby or police were available to protect me.”

This frightening encounter left her wary of going out in the neighborhood alone:

… After that experience, I have been leery of going out in Adams Morgan, especially alone. Previously, I had felt comfortable going to salsa there by myself (I’m friends with some regulars there), but since this incident, I’ve avoided heading to Adams Morgan by myself. Even when I’m walking with my boyfriend… I still feel like a target.

Interviewee 2 was sunbathing topless on a beach in Melbourne, Australia.  While topless bathing is legal in Australia, its practice is not widespread. She decided to wade in the water topless, but then put on a swimsuit top to lie on the beach. A man walked past and then went back to sit next to her. He began asking her questions like, “Do you have a boyfriend?” and, “Can I take you out for a drink tonight?” After ten minutes of inappropriate questions and Interviewee 2’s non-engaging responses, she got up and started walking away. She was not hindered by this uncomfortable experience:

… I refuse to let obnoxious people affect me in that way…I may be even more assertive. I may also start explaining to people that what they are doing is harassing me, so that they can be more educated.

Women should be able to be alone in public without being harassed or made to feel afraid or uncomfortable. Too many men interact with women inappropriately. In fact, Interviewee 2 described this guy on the beach as a creep who kept telling her she had a nice body. It’s unfortunate that some men see women in public as an invitation to make sexual comments or gestures, or to invade women’s personal space. Street harassment seems to be a common, yet unnerving, expression of masculinity and “ownership” of space.

And I will deal with that concept in a future post. The women I interviewed shared their thoughts with me about what should be done to combat and prevent street harassment. The culture needs to change, and it needs to change now. Women shouldn’t be made to feel like targets.

Sean has written for Stop Street Harassment since April 2011.  He is a library/research assistant at a labor union in Washington, D.C. and holds a Bachelor’s degree in economics from American University. 

By Terris Schneider, SSH Correspondent

I’m a total music nerd. Any time I step out from my apartment, my headphones are attached to my ears.

Then there was the week where I lost my headphones in a pile of all my stuff. Now I couldn’t listen to the 90’s One-Hit-Wonders station on Songza. Devastating. Even worse, that was the week where I discovered just how bad street harassment was in Vancouver because my headphones couldn’t protect me.

That particular week, I was cat-called by guys in cars on three separate occasions. The worst incident was when I was walking down my street and a group of men started grunting at me à la Tim the Tool Man Taylor. My instinct was to sprint down the street.

A couple weeks back, I went to a girl’s night with some of my lovely friends where we delved into the topic of street harassment. They all felt the same way that I did – they hated it, it was threatening to them, and they wished it would stop. Each one of them had a horrifying story to share too, unfortunately. And of course, there was the incident with my best friend last year. She was waiting at the bus stop at Richards and Hastings and a man looked at her and then pointed to his erection. She called me in horror, not sure what to do except get away.

What’s also disturbing to me is people’s laissez-faire attitude when it comes to street harassment. When you bring it up to certain people, they don’t really see the big deal. Unfortunately, it’s been burned into our brains that we have to accept street harassment, that it’s harmless, and that we should take it as flattering.

So what’s the deal with street harassment? (said in a Jerry Seinfeld-esque voice). Why should we stand against it? Here are a few thoughts of mine.

Threat of Rape

If we turned the tables on men and harassed them on the streets, there is little threat of rape to them from women. Plus, there are so many trauma victims roaming the streets day or night, suffering from hyper vigilance. The statistics in British Columbia are mind boggling: 1 in 2 women in B.C. will have experienced sexual assault or attempted sexual assault in their lifetime, and aboriginal women in Canada are five times for likely to be sexual assaulted than non-aboriginal women. Not to mention, a rape crisis center in Vancouver has a wait-list of 9 months for one-on-one trauma counseling.

Which brings me to my point, you don’t know who is going to feel really threatened and traumatized when being street harassed. That being said, victim or not, a woman should be able to walk down the street in peace without being harassed.

Harassment Turned Life Threatening

Earlier this month in Vancouver, a woman named Claudia Rylie was harassed on the SkyTrain when a guy took unwanted pictures of her. He then proceeded in stalking her down the street, making it one of the most terrifying experiences of her life. The Surrey police did nothing about it, but now the VPD is looking into it because it might be related to another sexual assault. You can read the story from VanCity Buzz to get a better idea.

What truly disturbs me is some of the comments left after this story. Mostly blaming the woman (shocker!) because she is an alleged sex worker, and claiming that she was doing the whole thing for attention. Yet another way to excuse rape culture. Notice, there is no one putting the blame on the harasser, who may have assaulted another person and was so creepy, that a woman followed Claudia from the SkyTrain to make sure she was okay.

Here are some of these disturbing comments (remind me never to read comment threads):

darkeclipseCollapse

fuck this girl she wants attention

Whistler

This woman is a thrill-seeker and getting readers riled up with this story is exactly the fuel she wants. She loves being photographed, but I’m sure usually for money. This has been a great promo for her line of sex work, and the VPD would also have her pegged immediately. A streetwise woman carries pepper spray, knows NOT to make contact with her stalker, and many other ways to be safe, like walk beside a stranger and explain what’s happening. A smart businesswoman would not publicize an incident like this, pleading for public sympathy. Claudia, there are video cameras throughout the transit system and you know it. I’ll bet there never was a man in black except in your fantasy.

But then there are awesome people like Kevin to give us some hope:

Kevin

And this is exactly the reason we have this problem is this mindset. Just because someone models or works in the sex industry as a professional does NOT mean it’s ok for them to be sexually harassed.

Thank God For Headphones

I’ve since found my headphones and will no doubt continue to use them as my security blanket against creeps. I wish I could live without them, but hopefully one day I can roam the streets fear-free if people finally start cluing into this stuff.

Terris is a professional wordsmith (freelance writer) based in Vancouver, BC, Canada. You can read more of her work on her blog, or follow her on Twitter and Facebook.